The Doctor Exchange Programme
by Harriet-Monroe
Summary: The gang from ‘Sacred Heart’ is sent Downunder on an exchange programme by Dr Kelso.
1. Default Chapter

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The Doctor Exchange Programme

Author: Harriet Monroe 

Summary: The gang from 'Sacred Heart' is sent Downunder on an exchange programme by Dr Kelso. 

Disclaimer: The characters were mostly stolen (C'mon I ain't that good) used and abused for the sake of "comedy"…in other words…sorry.

Rating: Not for kiddies (so make sure mum and dad are in bed)

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*note that all J.D thoughts are written in italics

"Dear God we've just walked into 'Nam," Dr Cox groused, everyone else nodded, mouths agape.

__

While it wasn't quite the result of fascist dictators, the accident and emergency section of St Thomas's hospital was like the battle fields of war all it was missing was Hawkeye and the gang…oh wait that was Korea…

"I'm gonna do things to Kelso that'd make your eyes water for his little 'exchange programme.' Well, I'm gonna kick his ass anyway for being the sadistic spawn of Satan and because my therapist says not to."

"You say the nicest things," JD said quietly.

__

It was true that Kelso had decided that we all should be involved in the hospitals 'exchange a doctor' programme but I somehow think sending us all to Australia was crazy even by his standards.

"Are you injured?" a nurse asked appearing as if from no where. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

"Only by the sight of this room," Dr Cox replied. "Don't suppose you've ever considered healing people?"

"We're from America," Carla piped up. "We're on an exchange programme."

"We have an exchange programme?" the nurse said blankly. "Wait here and I'll fetch the chief of medicine," she added and hurried away down a corridor.

"I'd like to exchange her programme if you know what I mean," Todd grinned and held his hand up for a high five.

"At what point did Kelso decide sending him was a good idea?" Carla groused glaring at Todd who shrugged and waved at a young blonde nurse who ignored him completely.

"It can't be all bad right?" Turk declared. "I mean, we know how to treat sick people."

"A little help over here," a man piped up from the waiting area. "The Brown Snake venom is starting to attack my nervous system."

__

Ahhhhhh!  


*****************

"Good morning," announced a small, tanned man with a warm smile. The group turned to look at him. "You're our exchange doctors then?"

"And nurse," Carla piped up causing the tanned doctor to look directly at her.

"Of course you are," he perked. "Oh there's two of you," he added directing the comment to Elliot.

"No," Elliot gasped becoming flustered. "I'm a doctor."

"Of course you are poppet," the doctor grinned and Elliot mouthed 'poppet.' "Now, I'm Dr Bruce, welcome to my hospital…blah, blah…good luck…blah, blah…don't kill anyone on your first day," the doctor gave them one more, cheesy smile and stalked off back up the corridor without a second look at the patients.

"Do you think its possible that he and Kelso were separated at birth?" Turk frowned bewildered.

"Oh Ghandi, don't go there its too horrible to contemplate," Dr Cox huffed. "Come on kids, lets try and help these poor, unfortunate people by giving them medical attention or digging graves or something."

****************** 

"Isn't this so cool?" Elliot perked brushing past a patient on a gurney in the middle of the hospital. "I mean how often do you get a free trip to Australia. Oh, just think of all those tanned surfer boys on the beach…"

"Yes lets all think of tanned surfer boys as we discompact bowels," J.D jeered. 

"Do you always have to be so negative," Elliot pouted. "I mean how often do we get opportunities like this huh?"

"What opportunities? We're doing what we always do."

"Yeah…but…we're doing it in Australia," Elliot huffed. "So there," she added and hurried into the nearest room.

__

Well I guess there's one advantage to being in Australia - no janitor.

"G'day," a voice piped up and J.D stopped to see a well built man in grotty overalls and sporting a mullet. "You're one of them yanks aren't ya?"

"Why yes I am," J.D smiled. "And you are?"

"The maintenance man, you got a problem with that?" 

"No, god no…I think it's great what you do with…mops and stuff…"

The maintenance man narrowed his eyes. "He said you'd be like this…"

"What? Who said I'd be like…"

"You J.D?"

"God yes," J.D breathed turning from the psychotic maintenance man to a dishevelled looking man in a white coat.

"Right, I'm your attending, Dr Anderson," the man declared. "Follow," he added and started off down the corridor.

J.D looked briefly over his shoulder at the maintenance man who was pretending to choke his mop and then hurried to catch up with Dr Anderson. "Are you giving me a tour?"

"No."

"Are you taking me to a patient?"

"No."

"Am I getting a present?"

Dr Anderson stopped, turned to J.D and raised an eyebrow. Despite the fact he wasn't nearly as tall as J.D he still seemed oddly frightening. "If you don't shut the hell up by the time I finish my sentence I will have you hooked up to an enema machine and have the insides of your colon sparkling like freshly polished wood ok?"

"Very," J.D swallowed.

__

Why do I always get the emotionally unstable ones?

"Less thinking more walking septic," Dr Anderson ordered as they continued down the corridor.

"Septic?" J.D said blankly. "I don't follow?"

"Septic, septic tank, yank," Dr Anderson muttered. "It's rhyming slang but its becoming quite obvious you do produce a lot of crap."

"You made me feel so welcome," J.D mumbled as he continued following obediently.

**************

"What happened to you?" Turk gasped as he walked into a room to be confronted by a man with a gaping wound on one leg and blood dripping from his hands.

"My dog went mental mate," the guy babbled.

"A dog did that to you?" Turk said shocked. "What the hell type of dog was that?"

"A big one."

Turk looked unconvinced and took a closer look at the wounds. "They don't look like no dog bites to me dude."

"I told you it was a big dog."

"Come on man, what really bit you?

"A crocodile," the man said sheepishly.

"What?" Turk shrieked. "How did you get bitten by a crocodile in the middle of the damn city?"

"I was looking after it for a friend," the man shrugged. "I've got a bigger bath than him see…"

"No," Turk babbled. "The only thing that I see if that you're clearly insane."

"I'm not following…"

"I'll make it easy for you," Turk said slowly. "Don't keep crocodiles, they eat people."

"Strewth mate, it's just a scratch."

"A scratch?" Turk gasped trying to comprehend what the man was thinking. "Three of your fingers need to be sewn back on and part of your leg has become crocodile food."

"I was lucky that's all he did then wasn't I?" the man beamed and Turk used all his strength not to smack his head against the wall. 

***************

"What it is with Australians and the phrase 'no worries'?" Dr Cox muttered as he stalked down a corridor. "Sorry but you've just been bitten by the world's most poisonous snake and unfortunately we don't have the anti-venom and you're going to die a horrible, painful death in about 45 seconds. No worries mate, fancy a beer later…" his tirade was cut off as a skull made a large 'whack' sound as it smacked into his chest.

"Oh Jesus," groaned a small blonde woman as she rubbed her head. "What the hell were you doing? I'm not invisible if you hadn't noticed, well obviously you hadn't otherwise you might have avoided trying to re-distribute my brain matter."

"I'm so, so, sor…"

"And don't even think of attempting to apologise you stupid American arse," the blonde woman spat and then stormed off in the opposite direction.

"What a crazy, obviously sun affected bitch," Dr Cox announced, the frown lines deep on his forehead. "I must sleep with her." he added switching directions and heading down the corridor in the same direction of the angry, mysterious blonde.


	2. The Greater Good

The Greater Good…

"Hey, Blondie!" Dr Cox called as he hurried to catch up to the angry blonde woman who'd left a rather large bruise on both his chest and his ego. "I think we got off on the wrong foot earlier."

"Excuse me?" The blonde scorned. "I believe I called you an arse which would indicate I hated you from the millisecond my skull connected with your well toned chest. I really don't think we need a great D&M about the whole thing."

"Well no," Dr Cox began and then cocked his head to the side. "You noticed my chest was toned?"

"Well, had you been flabby I wouldn't have a headache and ringing in my ears," the blonde sneered.

"Want me to give you the once over?" Dr Cox asked puffing his chest out. "I am a doctor after all."

"You know, I think I'll take the chances of a brain haemorrhage," the blonde chided. "But thankyou for continuing to prove the theory that all Americans are arrogant and narcissistic."

"Ohh you're a nasty woman," Dr Cox gasped. "And here's me thinking blondes don't have the mental capacity to use words like haemorrhage, narcissistic or cat."

"Oh you're killing me," the blonde sarced. "Here's a few words, put them in any order you fancy - have a you penis small."

Dr Cox was about to retort with some scathingly viscous comment about the size of her breasts when J.D appeared with a short, scruffy yet oddly attractive to women, doctor.

"Gina, you've decided to mingle with the working class," Dr Anderson chided. "How noble of you."

"Just doing my job Ross," the blonde sighed stopping to look at her clipboard. "You remember what a job is right? That thing you do between drinking sessions."

J.D. and Doctor Cox stood there watching the insults flying backwards and forwards.

"One of us has to say something," J.D whispered.

"I'm not getting involved in this one Azaria," Dr Cox breathed.

"Azaria?"

"Got taken by a dingo."

"Oh."

Dr Cox shook his head. "So its Gina huh?"

"Who said you could speak my name?" Gina growled, glaring at Dr Cox.

"Well I just…"

"His name's Perry by the way," J.D piped up. "Perry Cox."

Dr Anderson raised and eyebrow and then sniggered. "Perry Cox? That's like pair of…oh mate your parents must have hated you," he grinned and then motioned to J.D. "Follow me Dorian."

J.D was forcing himself not to giggle as Dr Cox's attention fell to him. "Right with ya Anderson."

"Bastard," Dr Cox hissed and then looked over at Gina who was stifling a giggle.

"Hey, I can see why your parents hated you."

******************

"Oh man," J.D laughed. "You know Dr Cox is going to kill you for mocking him right?"

"I don't remember saying I cared?" Dr Anderson mused browsing the notes on his clipboard.

"Yeah but I just thought…"

"No talking, no thinking just working ok Dorian?" Dr Anderson groaned. "I know that in your part of the world everyone has a shrink, dietician and personal ego masseuse but here we just do what we have to and then get very, very drunk."

"Sometimes its nice to talk."

"No Dorian, talking is bad, it's very bad," Dr Anderson scowled. "Talking leads to confessions, which lead to arguments which then lead to emotional trauma which leads to the divorce court and costs you half your life savings."

"Is that what happened with you and Gina?" J.D said before he could stop himself.

"No, she's just a horrible person that needs her lips sutured together," Dr Anderson groused. "Now shut the hell up before I decide to practice that little fantasy on you."

"Yes sir," J.D said quietly as they walked into a crowded looking ward. "So are you pissed off that Gina and Dr Cox seem to be getting along so well?"

Dr Anderson stopped, turned to J.D and raised an eyebrow. "Are you generally this stupid or are you just putting on a show for me? Because if you're just putting on a show I won't make you discompact bowels for the rest of the day."

"Oh I'm so pretending," J.D babbled. "I do it all the time, I'm always acting stupid, see," he perked and pretended to smack his head on an IV drip. "Just pretending."

"Yeah, you can discompact bowels anyway," Dr Anderson smiled wickedly and passed J.D a pair of latex gloves. "Just imagine you're hunting for buried treasure.

__

I hate you, evil pixie man. 

******************* 

As a doctor you have good and bad days.. For me today had to be up there with the worst. The worst being the one time I put on underwear that was a size to small and spent the day trying to avoid looking like I was scratching my butt. While I was glad our first day at St Thomas's was over and I could get back to our plush hotel to remove the unmistakable smell of discompacting over 84 bowels. I couldn't help but wonder if something else wasn't about to go wrong.

"God, I'll be glad to escape this pit of despair," Dr Cox groused as the group headed for the door.

"Wait," a familiar voice piped up.

__

Oh great, it's Gina just what we need a full blown domestic between her and Dr Cox before we leave the building.

"Well if it isn't the reason the country was colonised by criminals," Dr Cox chided and smiled as Gina crossed her arms.

"Thanks oh psycho Christian turkey lover," she sneered and then focussed her attention on everyone. "Dr Bruce has had a change of, let's say heart, and decided that instead of paying for you to enjoy the comfort of a hotel you can instead bunk down in some spare student quatres."

"Y'what now?" Dr Cox gasped looking mortified by the whole idea.

"Wait, all our stuff is at the hotel," Turk declared and the others agreed.

"Dr Bruce had someone pick it up earlier," Gina nodded. "And don't shoot me I'm only the messenger."

"Of Satan," Dr Cox grinned.

"Y'know the fact you irritate me so much makes this all the more enjoyable," Gina sneered.

"So are you gonna show us where these rooms are or what?" Carla groused entirely too fed up with the whole situation.

"Sure," Gina perked, turned on her heel and then turned back. "Sorry but you and Elliot are being lodged in the nurses quatres."

"What?" Carla and Turk said together.

"No, no, no, no Aussie Lady," Turk gasped. "We're married."

"Why? Why would you do that to yourself?" Gina sighed and Dr Cox laughed.

"See I told you," he mused as Gina shook her head.

"Look let's just get some rest and we can deal with everything tomorrow," J.D sighed deciding someone needed to be the voice of reason. "It can't be too bad right?"

*******************

"It's not the Hilton but I hope its ok," Gina breathed unlocking the door to a room in a rather dilapidated student housing facility.

"Well I certainly hope its not Paris," J.D giggled and everyone looked at him strangely. "Hilton, Paris Hilton….forget I said anything."

"Oh man, Paris Hilton," Todd grinned and held up his hand for a high five but no one responded.

"So where's my room?" Dr Cox asked glancing around at the patchy sofa and unhygienic looking kitchen facility.

Gina smiled before she got the words out. "Did I not mention you four boys were sharing."

"No offence lady, but there's only one double bed, a single and the couch," Turk said blankly.

"I know," Gina mused. "Have fun sorting out whose sleeping where," she added and headed for the door.

"No, you cannot leave me alone with two girls and Todd!" Dr Cox pleaded. "I wasn't born to share bathroom facilities with people like that."

"Aw poor Perry," Gina teased. "Having to slum it like the rest of us, how will you cope?" she added as she left.

Dr Cox growled and slammed his fist against the door.

"On the upside she called you Perry," J.D said light heartedly.

"I get the double bed," he hissed, stormed across the room into the bedroom with the double bed and slammed the door.

J.D and Turk looked at each other. "Well it wouldn't be the first time we've slept together," J.D sighed.

"Oh T-Dog, no," Todd gasped looking disgusted.

"Todd, anytime J.D and I have shared a bed it's been on a purely platonic level."

"Although we did wake up spooning once," J.D smiled.

"Dude, you so did not need to share that," Turk sighed heading for the room with the single bed.

"I was the little spoon," J.D sighed, shrugged and then followed Turk. 


	3. Breakfast at TiffAny’s

Breakfast at Tiff-Any's…

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I've been in Australia barely a day and already I've noticed things I wasn't expecting. Like no one is like 'The Crocodile Hunter' and yells 'crikey' at every living thing nor do they appreciate it when you attempt an impression of Mr Irwin with an inflatable crocodile. The other thing that's become painfully apparent is that while Australians can be very laid back, they can also be very, very cruel.

"Turk your foot is in my face," J.D groused shoving Turk's big toe away from his nostril.

"Blame the damn Australians and their no hotel policy," Turk huffed trying to get himself comfortable despite being wedged between J.D and the wall.

"No, I'll blame your foot for being way to close to my facial orifices if its all the same," J.D announced nonchalantly as he threw back the covers and clambered out of bed.

"Yeah well your hand was on my ass all night," Turk declared sitting up amongst the pile of covers.

"It got trapped," J.D said defensively and fled the room. He turned in the direction of the bathroom only to find Dr Cox waiting outside looking very, very pissed off.

"Good morning," J.D said gingerly.

"It may be morning Candice but there sure as hell ain't anything good about it," Dr Cox snarled, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

__

Oh god, this is uncomfortable.

"So did you sleep well?" J.D piped up after several seconds of uncomfortable silence.

"Oh I just went out like a light," Dr Cox sarced before his face fell into a frown. "Let's just keep the morning girlie chit chat between you and the other women in the room ok?"

"I kept waking up at weird times," J.D smiled. "Must be the jet lag."

Dr Cox looked at J.D hopelessly before turning and banging on the bathroom door. "Todd you better get your ass outta there in the next five seconds or I'll come in there and flush you down the plug hole."

"Wouldn't that just take up more bathroom time?" J.D asked and was growled at for the effort as the door opened and Todd appeared.

"Did you say something Big Dog?" Todd perked as he stood there butt naked.

"Oh for the love of God," Dr Cox groaned storming into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. "What is wrong with these people? I shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm a respected doctor not their mommies…"

"You should probably locate your pants," J.D swallowed. _I can suddenly see why he talks about his penis a lot…_

*******************

"Remind me again why we're going out for breakfast," J.D asked as he, Turk, Dr Cox and Todd headed for the closest café they could find.

"Because Dr Cox saw a cockroach," Turk sighed feeling tired, grumpy and now incredibly hungry.

"I did not just see a cockroach children," Dr Cox retorted. "I saw what should have been condemned by a team of health inspectors a long, long time ago. In fact, there was so much infection in that kitchen that if it were my patient I'd suggest death as an easy alternative."

"I agree with the Big Dog," Todd nodded everyone stopped and looked at him shocked.

"Y'do?" Dr Cox said suspiciously.

"Dude, cockroaches are gross especially when they're going for it on the stove," Todd chided and Dr Cox shook his head.

"He never comes out with us again," he sighed opening the door.

The group quickly found a booth at the rear of the café and hailed a waitress to order. Their breakfasts were soon delivered along with an apology for Todd.

"Isn't this great," J.D perked. "It feels like we're one big family."

"If you start to cry I will throw my coffee over you," Dr Cox groused stabbing at a piece of bacon.

"Oh thank god," Carla gasped appearing beside Turk. "We've been looking everywhere for you guys."

"Good morning baby," Turk smiled as he and Carla shared a quick kiss. "We would have invited you for breakfast but we were kinda in a hurry."

"Oh?" Carla said blankly. "How were your rooms?"

"Room," Turk countered. "We got one room."

"You're kidding me?" Elliot piped up. "All of you guys in one room?"

"Him in one room," Carla added motioning to Dr Cox.

"Trust me when I say I'm not exactly thrilled to my panties about that one either," Dr Cox sarced and grabbed his coffee.

"Turk and I are sharing a bed," J.D beamed. "It's a bit squishy."

"It's a cockroach infested hell," Dr Cox grumbled to no one in particular.

"So what's your room like?" Turk asked as Carla started to help herself to his breakfast.

"Its nothing special but we have bed each which is apparently more than you have," Carla mused nibbling on a bit of bacon.

"And we don't have any cockroaches," Elliot nodded. "We have mice."

"Big mice," Carla pouted.

"We spent an all night vigil on top of a table," Elliot nodded absent mindedly. 

"So buy some traps," Dr Cox shrugged. 

"And hurt them?" Carla gasped.

"Yeah, I just couldn't be that inhumane," Elliot agreed.

The men all looked at each other and then went back to their breakfasts. The café door opened, making a hidden bell tinkle and the group's attention swung to the new arrival.

"Hey, isn't that Gina," Turk pointed out.

"We should ask her if we can do something about the accommodation," Carla suggested.

"Does anyone actually know what she does at the hospital?" J.D asked looking around the table.

"No," Todd began. "But I know what I'd like her to do."

"She'd eat you alive man," Dr Cox breathed glaring at Todd.

"So you gonna talk to her?" J.D asked grabbing his juice.

"Why on earth would you think I'd want to talk to her Germaine?" Dr Cox groused trying not to look in Gina's direction.

__

I don't know if Dr Cox could have actually been any further in denial about Gina but I decided that since we were in a foreign country and surrounded by witnesses, I'd try and help him a bit.

"Hey Gina, over here," J.D called to Gina who was in the middle of paying for her breakfast.

"Well if it isn't my favourite little group of exchange doctors and nurses," Gina mused and wandered over, a plastic cup in one hand and a paper bag in the other. 

"And you're just our favourite," Dr Cox paused. "Hold on, we don't even know what ya do Blondie other than make this whole trip a living hell." 

"That living hell thing is mutual, really it is," Gina chided. "I'm the media liaison for St Thomas's. Y'know, I'm the person they turn to when someone is accidentally killed or misdiagnosed."

"Phew," Dr Cox perked. "You had me worried there, for a moment I thought they actually let you near sick people."

"Y'know I thought the same about you," Gina smiled. "I mean I'm surprised you can see far enough past your ego to do anything really."

"I like her," Carla piped up smiling.

"Don't you side with Ava Braun," Dr Cox huffed. "You just can't do that."

"I think she just did Dr. Kevorkian," Gina mused and turned to leave.

"You don't have to leave," J.D piped up. "Stay and join us for breakfast."

"Newbie you let the wench go back to her dungeon if she wants to," Dr Cox scowled.

"I'd love to but someone misdiagnosed some chest pains earlier and now there's a guy taking up slab room in the morgue. So I have some intense media cover up to deal with, that and I may leap across the table and stab Perry in the head with a fork."

"You should really stay," J.D nodded eagerly as Dr Cox sat there vaguely stunned by the idea of a very hot woman threatening to attack him with a utensil.


	4. Treatment and Treaties

Treatment and Treaties…

The upside to going to the hospital after what was an awful day yesterday was that today came with hope. Hope that the sight of so many unattended sick people wouldn't be so startling, hope that we would settle in better and hope that Dr Anderson wouldn't make me discompact any more bowels.

"I really hope I get to do some real work today," J.D sighed looking at Turk.

"You and me both," Turk agreed as a nurse appeared and quickly dragged him and Todd away.

__

Wonder where I start?

"Morning Dorian," Dr Anderson declared distracted as he wandered into the waiting area.

"Good morning Dr Anderson," J.D perked as Elliot sidled up beside him.

"Please, quieter," Dr Anderson scorned. "I have a mild hangover."

"I understand," J.D nodded. "I know what it's like to have one too many beers."

"Beer? I've been drinking tequila you wuss."

"Oh, what's a wuss?"

"Hey nurse can you get me some aspirin," Dr Anderson asked looking unenthusiastically at Elliot.

"I'm not a nurse!" Elliot declared. "I'm a doctor, internal medicine."

"Congratulations," Dr Anderson sarced. "Still get me some aspirin anyway will you babe."

"Babe?" Elliot said aghast.

"Would you rather Chickadee?" Dr Anderson asked raising an eyebrow.

"Chickadee," J.D giggled and then stopped himself as Elliot glared.

"I could report you for sexual harassment you know," Elliot huffed crossing her arms. "Then what would you do huh?"

Dr Anderson looked at Elliot curiously for a moment and then at J.D, "Is she always this neurotic?"

"Like a gerbil trapped in a box," J.D nodded as Elliot frowned deeper and then stalked off. "A very small box."

"Right," Dr Anderson nodded. "Come on, you've got more bowels to discompact."

"Oh, yay," J.D mumbled sarcastically as he followed obediently.

***************

"Oh that's disgusting," Turk groaned as he looked down at a woman who'd been involved in a car accident. A piece of metal had pierced through part of her abdomen.

"Yeah," Todd agreed. "But she's still pretty hot."

"Do you ever listen to yourself?" Turk spat looking disgusted at Todd.

"Hey if you don't think she's hot just say," Todd groused looking offended.

"What I think is, that if we don't start operating soon she's going to die," Turk hissed.

"And we don't want a babe like that to die right?" Todd grinned. Turk shook his head and let out a frustrated cry. "I think the T-Dog's still got lag."

***************

"…So you see Dr Bruce I'm the kinda guy who's into saving lives and administering medical attention and not some glorified typist who's crossed the Pacific to sit behind a damn desk all day," Dr Cox explained as he paced Dr Bruce's office. He'd recently discovered his day's work entailed a stack of unfinished paperwork that belonged to the other doctors.

"That's a sweet little story, really it is," Dr Bruce smiled and then frowned. "But while you're working at my hospital you'll do whatever tasks I assign to you and if that happens to be a mass of paperwork then so be it."

"But there's people in your waiting room close to death, there is and I could help them if you'd just let me…" Dr Cox's voice trailed off as there was a knock on the door. He looked to see Gina and let out a low groan.

"Hello Poppet," Dr Bruce perked. "Get that whole misdiagnosis thing cleared up did you?"

"You know me Allan," Gina said half heartedly and shot Dr Cox an understanding look. "I wouldn't want the hospital to get a bad name now."

"And the family know nothing about our little mistake?"

"No, they just think their beloved father keeled over of his own accord," Gina nodded.

"Good girl," Dr Bruce smiled. "You always come up with the goods."

"Yeah," Gina agreed with a sigh. "Tell it to my conscience."

Dr Cox watched her leave while trying to remember he wasn't in Dr Kelso's office but some equally evil bastard in another hemisphere. 

"Is there anything else you wanted?" Dr Bruce asked not looking up from the cream bun on his desk.

"No, I think you've sucked enough of my will to live for one day," Dr Cox groused. "Allan," he added as he marched out of the room.

***************

"I'm so tired of everyone thinking I'm a nurse," Elliot whined as she met up with J.D in the corridor.

"Ah they're just not use to having a female doctor about," J.D soothed. "Or doctors in general it seems."

"They keep giving me bedpans to empty," Elliot pouted. "It doesn't matter what I say."

"Well I've successfully discompacted every bowel in the hospital," J.D groused. "Well, apart from the staff…"

"If one more person treats me like a nurse, I'll, I'll…"

"Cry?"

"And then I'll go see Dr Bruce."

"Yeah, I'm sure that'd help," J.D mused. "Anyway, you haven't seen Dr Anderson have you?"

"No, I've been too busy scrubbing bedpans," Elliot huffed and stalked off.

"Where the hell is he?" J.D frowned looking up and down all the corridors closest to him. _Oh here comes Gina, I'll see if she knows. _"Gina!"

"Make it quick muffin I've things to do," Gina declared as she kept walking. J.D hurried to catch up to her.

"Did Dr Cox tell you to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Nevermind, have you seen Dr Anderson?"

"What makes you think I would have seen him?"

"Well I just assumed…"

"Yeah, you probably would," Gina sighed as the reached the on-call room. She threw the door open to reveal Dr Anderson curled up asleep. 

"Dr Anderson," J.D said quietly. "Dr Anderson."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work," Gina sighed. She marched into the room, rolled up the papers in her hand and belted Dr Anderson over the head. "Get up and do your job you lazy arse."

"Hey, quit the violence mad woman," Dr Anderson hissed rubbing his head.

"There you go," Gina smiled. "Sorted."

"Thankyou," J.D nodded and then looked at the fuming Dr Anderson. "She's so kind and caring."

***************

"I'm so bored I'm thinking of taking up comfort eating," Dr Cox sighed frowning at the computer monitor in front of him. 

"Now that would be interesting," Carla mused. "I wonder what Gina would think if she found you too fat to move from your chair."

"Why would I care what she thinks?" Dr Cox chided. "And besides I couldn't destroy something so beautiful."

"What Gina?"

"No me!"

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you hate to admit the truth."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Whose flattering, I'm just being honest."

Carla shook her head. "You shouldn't be sniffing around her anyway?"

"Well thanks for the warning there Carla but I'm not even breathing around Gina let alone sniffing because if I did, I feel the noxious fumes that emanate from within her body because she's clearly rotting from the inside out would actually kill me."

"You're such a liar," Carla smiled. 

"Am not," Dr Cox chided. "The only intention I have toward her would be to drive a stake through her heart and end her evil reign on earth."

"Whose evil reign?" Gina piped up appearing with a mug in her hands.

"You should ask Dr Cox," Carla mused as she grabbed a chart and then hurried off.

"Perry?" 

"If you've come to gloat don't bother," Dr Cox groused. "I already feel like a complete moron thanks to the Downunder Dark Lord and his posse of evil henchmen."

"I know," Gina nodded. "That's part of the reason I've brought a peace offering," she added placing the mug beside Dr Cox on the desk.

He looked at it suspiciously and then picked it up and sniffed it. "Coffee?"

"It's probably the only thing that won't kill you in this place."

"Are you sure? Because I will not be happy if you laced this fine brew with some sort of poison."

"Trust me, the only person who'd be liable for that would be Bruce," Gina groused. "I'm sorry he's forced you behind a desk all day, and I'm sorry you had to witness the whole cover up thing," she paused. "This hospital, the way it runs just makes me so sick and I hate having to be Bruce's little puppet who makes it all better."

"So why do it?" Dr Cox asked trying not to show that the coffee was actually damn good. "Why be that evil little monkey's saving grace?"

"Oh I don't," Gina laughed. "I told that family exactly what happened and I hope they sue the bastard for everything."

Dr Cox laughed. "You really are full of surprises aren't you?"

"More than you know," Gina smiled and they locked their gaze for a moment. She broke it and looked at the computer monitor. "How about I help you finish that lot and then you can go and do your job huh?"

"Are you serious?" Dr Cox mused. "You're not schizophrenic are you? Because I can't handle more than three personalities at once." 

"I don't think my personalities are the problem," Gina chided. "It's that big old ego of yours that needs to be swiftly escorted from the building."

"There's nothing wrong with a healthy ego pumpkin," Dr Cox mused.

"Oh please, you've so much ego it's a surprise you haven't overdosed yet," Gina smiled before they both started to snigger.

***************

"Don't you have something better to do?" Dr Anderson groused as J.D stood glaring at him.

"Y'know actually I don't," J.D sneered. "I've discompacted every bowel in this hospital apart from yours and I'd really like to do some real work now."

__

Ok, now look like you're serious, don't show him any signs of nervousness and no crying.

Dr Anderson narrowed his eyes. "You want _real_ work huh?"

"Yes I do," J.D replied defiantly.

"Right, come with me," Dr Anderson ordered and J.D followed him into a room where a young boy was lying on his bed, his mother looking as white as a ghost sat in a chair next to him. "J.D this is Josh he was bitten by a funnel web and we're waiting for the…"

"Funnel web?" J.D asked curiously and Dr Anderson smiled before picking up a jar and thrusting it into his hands.

"It's a spider, they come outta holes in the ground and attack you," Dr Anderson declared nonchalantly.

J.D looked at the jar in his hands and the large spider that was doing laps of the bottom. "Oh my god," he yelped dropping the jar which shattered letting the spider scuttle off out of the room.

"You realise you've just let loose the second most deadliest spider in Australia," Dr Anderson frowned. "And we don't have enough anti-venin in the hospital should it bite more people."

"Oops," J.D said weakly as a shrill scream was heard somewhere down the corridor.


	5. The Reign of Nurse Nightingale

The Reign of Nurse Nightingale…

"Dear god how many more people have to die before I can unchain myself from this inhuman excuse for work?" Dr Cox groused as a gurney with a body bag was wheeled past. 

"Despite what you may think you're not actually God Perry," Gina sighed, herself bored of the mountain of paperwork.

"I'm thinking more Florence Nightingale actually."

"Yeah, you'd look just lovely in a pinny."

"Damn right I would," Dr Cox declared. "My legs are actually quite fantastic…Oh lord there's another one."

"What's the tally Florence?" Gina chided as the both looked over at yet another body bag being wheeled toward the morgue.

"Four corpses in the last hour," Dr Cox breathed. "And don't ever call me Florence again."

"Sorry Nurse Nightingale."

Dr Cox looked at Gina gruffly. "You have to stop before I'm forced by the powers of deduction to start hating you again."

"The powers of deduction?"

"Well, it's more whether the fact you annoy the hell outta me can be overridden by that great rack of yours."

"Oh that's heart warming, really it is."

"I thought so."

"Excuse me," J.D panted as he hurried over to where Gina and Dr Cox were hunched over a computer in an otherwise empty nurses station.

"What is it there Dorothy?" Dr Cox mused, finally glad of some entertainment. "You haven't lost Toto have you? Or are you just stuck looking for the courage to even talk to the lion?"

"Perhaps he can hunt out a heart for you Tinman while he's at it," Gina jeered and Dr Cox shot her daggers.

"Actually he's quite a kitten when you get to know him," J.D mused and started purring.

"Newbie you better have a damn good reason for being here or I'm going to start throwing stationery supplies at you," Dr Cox groused.

"Well, actually I do have a good reason," J.D perked. "I accidentally smashed a jar that contained a deadly spider and now the spider has escaped and if I don't catch it we could all die."

"Oh great one Dorothy," Gina groaned. "You do realise you've just increased my workload tenfold right?"

"Oh bad Newbie," Dr Cox frowned. "If she turns back into a evil faerie changeling again, so god help you…"

"It was an accident," J.D pleaded. "Dr Anderson kinda shoved it into my hands and it caught me by…" his voice trailed off as a pencil smacked into his forehead. "Ow."

"Hey I was gonna do that," Dr Cox huffed as Gina reached for an eraser and lobbed it at J.D. 

"I said ow!" J.D yelped and ducked as Dr Cox decided to join in and lobbed a pad of Post-it notes at him. "Children!" J.D huffed and hurried off to look for the spider.

"Newbie come back," Dr Cox called. "I was starting to have fun."

****************

J.D skidded into the elevator as a pencil sharpener flew past. He took a couple of deep breaths before he noticed he wasn't alone. The maintenance man was standing there with a mop and bucket. "Good afternoon," he swallowed as he rubbed his shin.

"Why is it good?" the maintenance man asked. "I've got to go clean up a pool of whatever bodily fluid decided to leak from another human being. Tell me what's good?"

"That it's going to be clean?" J.D said weakly as the maintenance man stepped closer. 

"You're lucky I don't smack ya," the maintenance man said through gritted teeth. He raised his clenched fist as the elevator doors opened and Dr Bruce stood there looking unsurprised. "Next time," the maintenance man hissed and scurried out of the elevator. 

"Ah Dr Dorian," Dr Bruce smiled a rather cold smile. "I'm hearing rumours that you let a poisonous spider loose in my hospital."

"No, never," J.D lied shaking his head in a rather over the top fashion. "I've not seen or heard or even smelt any arachnids anywhere."

"Good," Dr Bruce mused. "Because if I find out you have then I will have you locked in the morgue freezer for an afternoon."

"But that might kill me sir."

"Win some, lose some," Dr Bruce perked and marched off in the other direction. 

"Thankyou, I feel so much more at ease," J.D breathed. _How the hell am I supposed to find a spider in this place?_

A piercing scream rang out from a room down the hall.

__

There we go!

****************

"Would it increase your workload if I burnt the rest of the paperwork in some sort of pagan cleansing ceremony?" Dr Cox mused as he rested his head in his hands.

"Y'know it probably would," Gina nodded as Carla reappeared.

"Back home he would have just told Kelso to stick it," she remarked. "I mean he's been suspended and still spent every waking second at the hospital."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he refused to stop working."

"I only did it to piss off Kelso," Dr Cox piped up.

Gina crossed her arms and looked at him sternly. "Man, you really need to get a life."

"I have a perfectly…" he flustered a moment. "Tolerable life thank you."

"Ok then, stop being such a girl and go and save lives Florence."

"Florence?" Carla asked bemused.

"Nightingale," Dr Cox replied. "Fine, I'll go and perform a few miracles but don't think for one second I'm doing it because you told me to," he added and stormed off toward the waiting room.

"He's doing it because I told him too," Gina shrugged looking at Carla.

"You don't have to convince me," Carla agreed as J.D dashed past in a blind panic. "Poor Bambi."

"I'll say," Gina nodded as Dr Anderson appeared sniggering as he jotted something down on his clipboard. "That spider wasn't poisonous was it?"

"You honestly think I'd let him anywhere near something poisonous?" Dr Anderson mused. "It was just Josh's pet huntsman."

"You're such a arse," Gina sighed. "Josh'll be devastated Franklin's gone."

"Oh my god, the spider has a name?" Carla gasped and shivered at the prospect.

"Ah he'll come back," Dr Anderson shrugged. "He always does."

"Is someone going to tell J.D?" Carla asked curiously as she sat down to deal with some paperwork of her own.

"Hell no, I'm kinda enjoying watching the kid race around the hospital like a cat on speed," Dr Anderson laughed and then yelped when Gina hit him with his own clipboard. "Must you keep beating me?"

"Yes, of course, you deserve it," Gina scorned. "Go and apologise to Dorothy…I mean J.D!"

"If it means you'll refrain from hitting me I'm already there," Dr Anderson hissed as he stalked away.

"Wow, you really know how to dominate men," Carla mused looking impressed.

"Yeah doesn't really help with meeting them and having a normal relationship though," Gina sighed and went back to Dr Cox's paperwork.

****************

By early evening Dr Cox had taken over the admitting of patients. It was made easier by the fact all the other doctors feared him and his wrath. He strutted about pleased the waiting room was near empty and that the steady stream of trips to the morgue had been cut by the attempts to actually heal people.

"E…excuse me," a young intern that Dr Cox had been referring to as 'Bianca' all afternoon appeared. 

"Why Bianca, you're back and you better be about to tell me that Mr Houseman's vitals are improving or I'll start hitting you with this clipboard until ya do," Dr Cox groused and looked up from where he was writing, "Are you crying?"

"Dr Cox," Dr Bruce boomed, storming into the room. He looked oddly at the intern who was glued to the spot sobbing.

"G'day there Bruce," Dr Cox jeered as he fell into his best Crocodile Hunter impression. "As you can see, we've managed to get the hoards of sick people some medical attention. If you look over there, just past Bianca you can see Mrs O'Connor who we had to treat for pneumonia, isn't she a beauty, crikey."

"I thought I told you, you were to do paperwork," Dr Bruce snarled as Dr Cox crossed his arms across his chest and looked bemused.

"Well now gee Allan, I did some of that mountain of crap you gave to me but then as I sat there watching your patents get a free trip to the freezer. I decided that it might be a good idea to and I'm going out on a limb here, give some of the poor people medical attention."

"Actually Dr Bruce, what Dr Cox here has done will look great for the hospital," Gina piped up as she appeared beside him. "And it'll reflect well on you too. I mean, you'll be referred to as the guy who increased international relations by allowing foreign doctors the opportunity to work in your hospital."

"Hmm," Dr Bruce mused and then smiled coldly at Dr Cox. "Fine, you can continue your little crusade once that paperwork I asked you to do is finished."

"Actually, he finished it earlier Dr Bruce," Carla smiled wandering over after dealing with a patient. "You can check it's all there on the computer if you don't believe me."

"Yeah," Dr Cox said looking at Carla suspiciously.

"I might just go do that," Dr Bruce muttered and turned on his heel.

"Bye Allen, thanks for that chat," Dr Cox called and then looked at Carla and Gina. 

"You can thank us now," Gina mused crossing her arms. "Seeing as how we clearly just saved your arse and all."

"Yeah, we finished all your paperwork," Carla added.

"Well gee aren't you two just like my own personal guardian angels or flying monkeys, I can't quite decide," Dr Cox chided. "I'm not thanking you for something that I didn't even ask you to do. In fact I couldn't give a damn if that paperwork was finished or not. I would've been quite happy to take it to bathroom with me and use it to wipe my ass."

"Oh that's charming," Gina scorned. "I hope Bruce kicks your insubordinate arse back the States," she added and stormed out of the room. 

"Oh you handled that well," Carla sarced from across the room. "All you had to do was say thankyou."

Dr Cox growled and then turned to the intern who was still glued to the spot. "Please don't hurt me," the intern pleaded and began to sob again.

"What did you do to him?" Turk asked appearing after being paged by someone.

"Nothing," Dr Cox fumed. "Yet…"


	6. International Relations

International Relations…

"There's something quite different about Australian beer," J.D declared as he brought what was his fifth stubbie to his lips. "I just can't pinpoint what it is."

"About ten times the alcohol content," Dr Anderson mused as he wandered past.

"That'd be it," J.D laughed and fell from the barstool he'd been lolling about on to the sticky pub floor.

"Bloody Yanks," Dr Anderson sighed. "No stamina what so ever."

"No dude, that's just J.D," Turk countered. "He gets tipsy after one apple-tini."

"Oh mate," Dr Anderson sighed, shaking his head as he leaned on the bar. "The usual." Turk, Carla and Elliot watched as a bottle of tequila and a shot glass was put in front of Dr Anderson. He filled the shot glass and downed it without flinching. He went to pour another, shrugged and took to drinking from the bottle. "One day I'll go to Mexico and thank the man that made you possible," he smiled and kissed the bottle.

"He has got some serious problems," Carla mumbled shaking her head.

"Why on earth is Cheryl on the floor?" Dr Cox groused, walking in and stepping over J.D on the floor. "On seconds thoughts, don't answer that, I really don't care." 

"Hey Coxsy," Dr Anderson jeered, now a quatre of the way through his bottle of tequila. "Want to share some of Mexico's finest?"

"Gee I'd love to evil elf but somehow I think you're gonna need all of it to finish your embalming," Dr Cox jeered, sliding onto a barstool and ordering a scotch.

"Such a hard man and such a girlie drink," Dr Anderson mused, brining the bottle of tequila to his lips.

"Scotch is girlie?" Dr Cox said blankly and realising he was letting himself get riled. "And drinking tequila from the bottle makes you a more sophisticated human being huh?"

"I don't know about sophisticated but it goes to show us Aussies can drink you Yanks under the table anytime," Dr Anderson grinned and looked at Dr Cox sideways. 

"I think that's a bit of a overgeneralisation there Anderson," Dr Cox mused and looked at J.D who was still trying to get off the floor. "I mean anyone could drink more than Fiona there but we're not all like her."

"So prove me wrong," Dr Anderson chided, raising an eyebrow.

"You want me to having a drinking competition with you?"

"Well unless you haven't got the balls."

Dr Cox narrowed his eyes. "Oh it's so on."

"Another shottie over here mate," Dr Anderson smiled as he motioned to the barman.

****************

"Gee you lot look miserable," Gina announced as she strolled into the pub and noticed Turk, Carla and Elliot sitting together at a table. Her attention was quickly adverted to a large group of people gathered around the bar. "What's going on over there."

"Dr Cox and Dr Anderson are having a drinking competition," Turk sighed. "We figured we should stay around in case they need medical attention."

"Apparently they're onto their second bottle of tequila," Carla breathed, looking unimpressed.

"Idiots," Gina sighed shaking her head. "Where's J.D?"

"He went to the bathroom," Turk shrugged and paused to think for a moment.

"Didn't he go like twenty minutes ago?" Elliot piped up, looking at her watch.

"I'll be right back," Turk declared, getting to his feet and heading toward the mens. He returned few moments later with J.D fast asleep in his arms. "He was curled up in a cubicle."

"Poor Bambi," Carla mused. "We should get him to bed."

"What about Dr Cox," Elliot asked. "I thought we were going to make sure he got home too."

"You guys go," Gina offered. "I'll stay here and make sure the children get home."

"Thanks," Carla perked. "We owe you one."

****************

Turk, Carla and Elliot left with the sleeping J.D while Gina wandered over to where Dr Cox and Dr Anderson were racing each other to the end of a line of tequila shots.

"YES!" Dr Anderson cheered. "I win again, in your face Coxsy!"

"Best of five," Dr Cox declared, wobbling slightly on his barstool. "Line 'em up again."

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves," Gina declared, pushing to the front of the group of onlookers.

"Hey Genie," Dr Anderson grinned. "Coxsy and I are testing international relations."

"Perry?" Gina asked, looking at Dr Cox who took several seconds to register that he was being spoken to.

"I just wanna beat the little bastard," he replied, getting ready to down more shots.

"You're supposed to be doctors guys," Gina groused. "You're supposed to encourage sensible drinking."

"And you're supposed to be married with children by now leaving work to the men of this world but yet you still insist on being employed," Dr Anderson huffed, shakily getting to his feet.

"And that little chauvinists dream of yours might've come true if you hadn't divorced me for that alternative medicine wench that you met at a seminar in Brisbane," Gina spat and Dr Anderson tried his hardest to look angry.

"Hey, she left me for her yoga teacher," he pouted. "Anyway, what the hell are you doing here anyway? You're a teetotaller."

"A yoga teacher," Dr Cox piped up, amused, drinking the shots in front of him while he waited. 

"Oh shut up," Gina scowled, looking at Dr Cox and then turned her attention back to Dr Anderson. "I'm here because it's part of my job to make sure our visitors are having a good time."

"Oh baby, I'm having the best time," Dr Cox perked grinning inanely. "Especially from this angle," he added, making no attempt to hide the fact he was running his eyes over her body.

"See, he's having fun," Dr Anderson shrugged, starting on his own shots. "So you go on home, have a nice cuppa and don't fret that pretty little head of yours."

"Are you wearing a thong," Dr Cox piped up and Gina looked over her shoulder to glare at him. "I was just curious is all."

"This ends now," Gina frowned. "Ross, go home and sober up and Perry…"

"Yes sweet cheeks," Dr Cox mused, trying not to laugh.

"You come with me," she sighed, grabbing his arm and encouraging him to get to his feet.

"Well if you're insisting," Dr Cox beamed as he got unsteadily to his feet and staggered out of the pub.

"Another round here," Dr Anderson piped up, grinning at the barman and motioning to his empty shot glasses.

****************

"Well I tucked him in so he shouldn't roll outta bed," Turk declared, sauntering out of the bedroom to where Carla and Elliot were waiting along with Todd who was sprawled on his couch bed in his underwear.

"So what do we do now?" Elliot asked and then quickly looked at Todd. "And 'you' isn't an answer ok?"

"Wow Elliot you're really getting to know me," Todd perked, sitting up.

"Yay for me," Elliot mumbled and looked back at Turk and Carla. "I really don't want to go back to our rooms. I don't think I could cope with another night of squeaking, scratching and the prospect of having one of those disgusting rodents nestle beneath the sheets with me."

"You could stay here if we had more room," Turk shrugged. "And don't say a word Todd."

"What about Dr Cox's bed?" Carla suggested, wrapping her arms around Turk. 

"What are you? Insane?" Turk gasped. "He'd kill us."

"No he won't," Carla mused. "He'll be way too drunk and will probably end up sleeping on the bathroom floor."

Turk pondered a moment but the prospect of sex was overriding his fear of being murdered by Dr Cox. "Elliot, feel free to push J.D aside and share with him or make a bed on the floor. We'll see you in the morning," he added and dragged a surprised Carla into the room formally occupied by Dr Cox.

"Great," Elliot breathed.

"You can share the couch with me if you want," Todd suggested smiling. Elliot screwed up her face at the prospect and scuttled off into J.D's room.

****************

Gina drove back to her own apartment after deciding it was (a) closer and (b) there were less stairs for the currently sleeping Dr Cox to try and ascend. She parked the car in the parking lot and unclipped her seatbelt before reaching over and slapping his arm.

"Just get a nurse to do it," Dr Cox mumbled as he tried to open his eyes.

"Do what?" Gina asked as she watched as he looked at her stunned for a few moments.

"I really have no idea," he breathed, rubbing his eyes. "Where am I?"

"My place," Gina replied. "Now, you can still walk can't you?"

"Of course I can," Dr Cox huffed, regaining some of his bravado and clumsily opening the door. He stepped triumphantly out of the car, went to walk and nearly toppled over. He grabbed the open car door again to steady himself.

"That was convincing," Gina sighed, getting out of the car herself.

It took a little longer than normal but eventually Gina got Dr Cox into her apartment, ushered him into the spare room and watched him fall onto the mattress and pass out within about three seconds.

"Men are just so stupid," she breathed, shaking her head.

****************

J.D woke the next morning with a throbbing head and a queasy stomach. He was surprised the bed felt so roomy, seeing as how it had been so cramped the previous day. It took several moments but he managed to open his eyes against the harsh morning light. "Oh my god," he breathed when he saw Elliot. He tried to leap out of bed but got the covers wrapped around his ankles and fell onto the floor. "Ow."

"Morning J.D," Elliot yawned looking down at him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure," J.D said carefully. "I can't remember much about last night, did we?"

"No, god no," Elliot laughed. "Carla and I just stayed here instead of going back to the nurses quatres last night."

"Oh," J.D yawned, rubbing his temples. "Wait, where'd Turk and Carla…oh tell me they didn't?"

"Well," Elliot swallowed. "It doesn't matter anyway because Dr Cox didn't even come back last night."

"He didn't?" J.D sighed, gingerly peeling himself from the tatted carpet. 

"He and Dr Anderson got into some stupid drinking competition and Gina was going to see that he got home."

"Oh," J.D nodded. "What happened to me?"

"Turk found you passed out in a cubicle," Elliot mused and J.D groaned and fell back onto the floor.

****************

Dr Cox woke up to find himself fully dressed in a strange bed with a cat passed out on his chest. He tried to get some idea of where he was but his head hurt way too much and he ended up lying there trying to ignore the fact the cat was licking his cheek.

"Wakey, wakey," Gina perked, strolling into the room with a glass of water and a packet of aspirin.

"Where the hell am I?" Dr Cox groaned, still not opening his eyes.

"My place," Gina replied. "I imagine you're too hungover to remember why you're actually hungover."

"What did I do?

"You got into a juvenile drinking game with Ross."

"Did I do anything stupid?"

"Oh yes, plenty." Gina sneered and Dr Cox let out a small whine. "Anyway, get a move on you've got twenty minutes to get to work," she added and left him alone again.

"This is your fault," he snarled, glaring at the cat who responded by pawing his nose. "Oh you're so gonna pay when I remember how to use my limbs again."


	7. A Matter of Opinion

A Matter of Opinion…

"Was I really asleep in a cubicle?" J.D asked as he, Turk, Carla and Elliot approached the hospital.

"Dude, you were hugging the cistern," Turk replied blankly and J.D looked a little embarrassed.

"I was just tired," he lied and pushed ahead of the others into the waiting room. He noticed Dr Cox leaning against the nurses station and strolled over. "Morning Dr Cox!"

"Listen Kylie I consumed enough alcohol last night to be pretty much embalmed right now. I've spent most of the morning feeling like my head is about to explode and cover everything in its path in tequila smelling grey matter and its taking all my strength not to puke on you as I speak," Dr Cox declared and J.D took a step back. "Furthermore, I've made myself look like a complete dumbass in front Gina, and before you say it and I know you will. We did not spend the night together. I wouldn't have remembered what to do anyway, although I would have given it a red hot go. I passed out in the spare room and woke to a tongue bath by her cat. Why am I telling you this anyway?" he added, narrowed his eyes and stalked off.

"Have a nice day!" J.D called after him and was about to sneak off for a coffee when his beeper started screaming. Dr Anderson has summoned him urgently to a third floor room and reluctantly J.D hurried off toward the elevator.

J.D burst into the third floor room to find only a patient who was propped up in bed and a tired looking nurse who was putting some flowers in a vase.

"Dr Dorian?" She asked smiling warmly as she did her best with the slowly wilting flowers.

"Yeah, hey where's Dr Anderson?" J.D asked looking around in case his Australian mentor was lurking behind a curtain.

"I'm not sure but he left me with instructions for you to take over his patient," the nurse perked and then paused. "Well, all his patients actually…"

J.D frowned, he had enough patients to deal with, without the added burden of more. "Wait right there," he declared and hurried out of the room again.

****************** 

Elliot felt proud of herself, she'd checked on nearly all her patients from the day before and she hadn't cried, freaked or had a breakdown yet. She smiled as she swaggered down the corridor toward her last patient's room, prepared herself for a magnanimous bedside manner and then paused. Someone was already dealing with her patient.

"Excuse me," she declared sucking in a deep breath. "But Mrs Harrison is my patient."

"You're Elliot?" asked the doctor looking up. Elliot felt a jolt run down her spine. He was very, very hot with tanned skin, deep blue eyes and messy blonde hair. She'd found the surfer she'd been looking for.

"Its Dr Reid actually," she said haughtily and crossed her arms ."And Mrs Harrison is my patient."

"I know," the doctor smiled, he had a gorgeous smile. "But I was asked to take a look at her when her temperature spiked because you weren't in yet. It's no biggie."

"No, no biggie at all," Elliot agreed looking stupidly blank and transfixed.

"I'm Dr Noll by the way," the doctor perked and extended his hand. "But you can call me Stu."

"Elliot, Elliot Reid," Elliot swallowed and shook his head.

"I know, you told me," Stu laughed and Elliot blushed and began to fluster. "Nevermind, I never forget a beautiful face," he added and headed toward the door. "See you at rounds."

"For sure," Elliot beamed and stood grinning inanely for a few moments before she managed to pull herself together and do her job.

****************** 

"So what really happened last night?" Carla asked as she pretended to search for a file as Dr Cox forced himself to drink coffee. "You can tell me."

"I couldn't tell you," Dr Cox grumbled.

"Please," Carla begged. "I won't tell the others."

Dr Cox sighed and studied his coffee for a moment. "We left the bar, she took me back to her place and we did things to dawn that'd just make your eyes water."

"Like what? Come on, don't be coy with me."

"Have you ever had candle wax dripped onto your bare flesh?"

"What?"

"And then she put on the monkey suit and…Jeez Carla, what I do with Gina has nothing to do with you, got that, nothing, zero, zip and besides I'm not even interested in her." 

"So why the drinking game with her ex-husband huh?" Carla asked raising and eyebrow.

"It was a harmless bit of fun," Dr Cox frowned. "We were bonding."

"You were threatening each other with vodka enemas!"

"It would sterilise your colon."

"What do you think Jordan would say if she saw you carrying on like this?" Carla scorned now glaring at Dr Cox.

"What would you say if I said, 'I don't care?'" Dr Cox declared seriously. "She's over the other side of the Pacific and for the first time in a very, very long time Carla I feel like a weight is off my shoulders."

"You're unbelievable," Carla scowled and turned to storm off. "You disgust me."

"Oh get off your pedestal and join the real world," Dr Cox retorted. "You've never condoned my relationship with Jordan, in fact you've made it quite clear that you don't think we're right for each other. So, maybe you're right, maybe she's not the right person, maybe I can do better. If I do find someone else and it turns into the best thing that's ever happened to me than by Jesus I'm gonna go for it. It doesn't make me a bad person, it doesn't, it just makes me human. Some of us don't live in some faux state of perfection like you," he finished his speech, turned and stalked off down the corridor. 

Carla stood stunned for a moment and then quietly went back to her work.

****************** 

J.D stormed into the 'On Call' room, flipped the light switched and saw Dr Anderson curled up asleep on the bed. 

__

Its times like these you have to take matters into your own hands.

He scurried back out of the room and returned a second later with a vase of flowers. He ripped the flowers out and proceeded to empty to liquid contents of the vase onto Dr Anderson's sleeping form.

Dr Anderson's eyes sprung open and he screamed loudly. "What the hell did you do ya stupid Yank!"

"We're in a hospital Dr Anderson, in fact we're doctors if you haven't noticed," J.D snapped. "We're supposed to be helping sick people but all you seem to do is sleep off hangovers. If you have a drinking problem then go to AA if you don't than live with it and do your god damn job!"

"All right, keep yer knickers on," Dr Anderson mumbled shocked at being yelled at by a resident.

"Just get dry and do your job you dumbass Aussie," J.D hissed and stormed out still holding the flowers in one hand.

"Well that kid has more balls than I thought," Dr Anderson breathed trying to squeeze the water from his scrubs.

****************** 

"Hey Carla have you seen…" Gina began as she ran into Carla in the corridor.

"No I haven't," Carla said shortly. 

"You didn't even let me…"

"I'm busy doing my job, I'm not your messenger."

"Carla?" 

"Just stay away from me and my friends ok?"

"Excuse me?" Gina half laughed. "Who are you to tell me who I can and can't talk to?"

"I'm just warning you," Carla retorted. "We don't need you babysitting us ok?"

"I'm only doing my job…"

"So having sex with Dr Cox is part of your job description? Must be between the parts that say you must be blonde and flirty."

"I don't know what's crawled up your arse and died but I've never slept with Perry. In fact even if I had wanted to he couldn't have even made a coherent sentence last night, let alone pleasure me in any way, shape or form," Gina spat. "Why do you care so much anyway, you're married aren't you?"

"Dr Cox is my friend," Carla hissed. "I've known him a lot longer than you."

"Congratulations do you want a certificate," Gina smiled much to Carla's annoyance.

Carla snapped something in Spanish and then stormed off. Gina shook her head and continued down the corridor until she ran into Dr Cox coming out of a ward.

"How you feeling?" Gina asked as Dr Cox stopped to rub his temples.

"Oh just dandy," Dr Cox chided. "Hey, thanks again for not leaving me in the gutter last night."

"No worries," Gina smiled and then frowned. "Would you believe Carla just had a go at me?"

"Yes actually," Dr Cox nodded. "What did she say?"

"I've be warned to stay away from you all, well you in particular," Gina declared. "Does she always tell people what to do?"

"Yes," Dr Cox replied. "Carla, while being one of the few people I can tolerate on this earth does have a nasty habit of sharing her opinions with everyone."

"So, do you want me to stay away from you?" Gina asked cocking her head to the side. "Because if it's going to cause problems I'll…"

"It doesn't cause me any problems," Dr Cox smiled crossing his arms. "Actually, I'd kinda like it if you stayed around but then its totally up to you and I don't want to put pressure on you in anyway, actually maybe you should stay away, yes, that'd be best. Solves all problems, not that there were any problems to begin with but…"

"OK now you've lost me…"

"I'm not very, I'm a bit…women so don't get me."

"Then we'll make this simple," Gina perked. "Do you want to continue to get to know each other?"

Dr Cox opened his mouth to reply when his beeper went off and he forgot everything and had to rush off to a patient who was having a cardiac arrest. 

****************** 

"Why are you wet?" Elliot asked looking at the wet splotches on J.D's scrubs as they prepared for rounds.

"Dr Anderson and I were bonding," J.D replied. "How's your morning been so far?"

"Oh my god, I met another resident Dr Noll, Stu," Elliot babbled. "He was so cute, I think he's a surfer, well he's got blonde hair which I know is stereotypical but I just feel it in my waters. He said he'd see me at rounds," she added looking around excitedly.

"Okie dokie everyone," a voice piped up. "For you who don't know me I'm Dr Noll, call me Stu, and I'll be taking you for rounds today."

"Oh!" Elliot gasped as Stu winked at her.

"Nice going Elliot," J.D teased. "An attending!"

"Poopy," Elliot whined and tried to hide behind the rest of the residents.


	8. Awkward Moments

Awkward Moments…

"Hey Elliot," Dr Noll announced as Elliot attempted to escape with the rest of the residents after rounds.

"Oh," Elliot whimpered and gingerly turned around. "Dr Noll."

"You did exceptionally well in rounds," Dr Noll smiled, making Elliot blush. "You're not just a pretty face huh?"

"Thankyou, no," Elliot smiled. "I'm a doctor, a very good doctor actually."

"Believe me I can tell," Dr Noll enthused. "I'd love to stay here and talk but I have a tonne of patients to check on. If you're interested though I'm going surfing after work…"

"Oh, I'm not good with beaches," Elliot explained exasperated. "I'm allergic to sand," she added and hurried off, leaving Dr Noll standing there confused. Elliot dashed down the corridor until she caught up with J.D who just looked at her and grinned. "What?"

"Nothing," J.D smirked and then couldn't help himself. "So are you gonna help Stu wax his surfboard later?"

"J.D!" Elliot gasped. "Just because I'm in a foreign country and Dr Noll happens to be very, very cute doesn't mean I'm going to just let go of all my neurosis and sleep with him. He's an attending, my superior, do you have idea of what the consequences of intercourse with him would mean?"

"You might relax," J.D said blankly and Elliot glared at him. "And stop calling it intercourse."

"You have no idea," Elliot sighed. "I mean could you imagine how awkward you'd feel if you had a tryst with Dr Cox…"

"I think awkward is kinda an understatement," J.D cringed and tried to wipe the image of waking up naked in bed with Dr Cox from his mind. "You slept with that surgical attending and it wasn't a problem."

"Everyone thought I was a tramp!"

"No one knows you here," J.D enthused. "I think you should go for it."

"You would," Elliot huffed and stormed off in the opposite direction.

"Of course, because I often encourage you to whore yourself to other doctors," J.D grumbled, looking over his shoulder and at her disappearing form.

"Oh Sheila, don't tell me you're having a tiff with your favourite gal pal now?" Dr Cox declared, bringing J.D back to reality. 

J.D looked curiously at Dr Cox a moment. "Do you sleep on the right?"

"Excuse me?"

"Nevermind," J.D added quickly. "Have you seen Dr Anderson?"

"No, but I can take a guess and assume he's probably pulling in his tights and little velvet boots so he can go and annoy all the other evil pixies that seem to inhabit this hell hole."

"You don't like him much do you?" J.D said knowing full well what the response would be.

"On the contrary Newbie, I like him enough to hope that his excessive drinking leads to his liver bursting and instantaneous death," Dr Cox mused, sticking his hands into the pockets of his white coat.

"That's a little harsh don't you think?" J.D said quietly. "He's not a bad doctor…"

"Lookit," Dr Cox growled as he stopped to glare at J.D. "I couldn't give a flying ducky what type of doctor he is. I don't like the intoxicated little bastard and my reasons for doing so have abs-sou-ltly nothing to do with you."

J.D swallowed as Dr Cox continued to glare. "So is this a conclusion you've come to after spending quality time with Dr Anderson or is this because he's Gina's ex-husband?"

Dr Cox frowned deeper. "My Clara, we have grown some testicles haven't we? Must be hanging around all this overpowering Australian testosterone that seems to just ooze from the men in the Southern Hemisphere," he paused to clench his teeth. "By god you better get outta my sigh in the next half a second or…"

"Dr Dorian," a voice piped up from just down the corridor.

"Oh thank god," J.D gasped and dashed off, leaving Dr Cox fuming.

****************

"Hey baby," Carla smiled as Turk appeared looking exhausted after being in surgery for longer than he could remember.

"Hey baby," he reciprocated and leaned over the desk of the nurses station to share a kiss with Carla.

"How was surgery?"

"Awful," Turk groused. "Dr Johnson is a Michael Bolton fan. It was like being trapped in hell."

"Aw, poor baby," Carla cooed. "I'll be finished in ten minutes if you want to get something to eat?"

"I know what I'd prefer to do…" Turk grinned cheekily.

"Turk, don't start," Carla warned and Turk's face fell into a sulk. "I mean Dr Cox still doesn't know about last night…"

"Doesn't know what?" Dr Cox asked, appearing next to Turk with a chart.

"Nothing," Turk gasped. "Nothing at all. Nothing happened, we went straight to sleep and did even think about having sex in your bed…"  
Carla closed her eyes and then quickly looked sweetly at Dr Cox. "You had sex in my bed?" Dr Cox asked, looking up from the chart.

"No!" Carla gasped and Dr Cox looked at Turk.

"Ghandi?"

Turk flustered a moment. "Ok, maybe just a little."

Dr Cox looked at them both disgusted. "Oh that's just," he threw the chart down. "Just too…" his arms flailed about as he tried to find the words to convey his disgust. "Just to ugly to contemplate," he eventually gasped and turned on his heel to storm off down the corridor. "I mean really, I shouldn't have to discover that I'm sleeping in something covered in Ghandi's DNA, that's just not hygienic…"

Turk and Carla looked at each other sheepishly. Carla quickly occupied herself with more work while Turk scurried off to the cafeteria.

****************

"…so we did all we could, we're really very sorry for your loss. What's that? Well, you'd be amazed at what the common cold can do to people…" Gina was distracted from her phone call from a knock at the door. She looked up to see Dr Anderson leaning against the door frame and motioned for him to come in. "I have to go now but feel free to call me with any other concerns you might have ok? Bye," Gina ended the call and left the phone off the hook. 

"Who died this time?" Dr Anderson asked, slumping into a padded leather chair opposite Gina's desk.

"Mr Lecopoulos," Gina replied, scribbling down some notes.

"I thought he just had a cold?"

"Someone accidentally admitted him for surgery."

"Accidentally!"

"Well if you hadn't been asleep in the On-Call room this might have been avoided."

"Oh that's right, it's my fault," Dr Anderson groused. "There's other attendings in this hospital you know."

"Yes but they haven't all left me for alternative medicine practitioners called Freya," Gina countered raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't see the wonderful Perry saving the day," Dr Anderson spat.

"Why are you here?"

"Because that coiffured yank got my scrubs wet."

"What? How? Were you bathing together?"

"NO!" Dr Anderson said quickly. "He poured a vase of water over me."

"Because you were sleeping in the On-Call room?"

"Resting woman, resting."

"Sounds like you deserved it if you ask me."

"Look, forget I came in here," Dr Anderson groused, getting to his feet. "Let's ignore the fact that I came to you in my time of need."

"I don't know that being a tad damp is a time of need," Gina mused as Dr Anderson frowned. "Oh for god's sake, what? What do you want from me?"

"My spare scrubs," Dr Anderson sighed. "The pair I keep in your office."

"Oh," Gina said sheepishly. "They're not here any more."

"What, why?"

"Well, when I was going through my angry, resentful stage after you left me I inadvertently burnt them."

"You inadvertently burnt them? How do you inadvertently burn anything?"

"That's not the point Ross, the point is they don't exist any more so you can go away and stop cluttering up my office."

"Fine," Dr Anderson huffed. "But we will have words about this!" he added, storming toward the door and was clearly heard wailing, 'burnt them' from down the corridor.

****************

"What an awful, awful day," J.D sighed as he, Elliot, Turk and Carla stepped into the warmth of the late afternoon.

"Did you ever find Dr Anderson?" Elliot asked, enjoying the feel of the warm sun on her pasty skin.

"Yeah and he never snuck off to On-Call room to sleep once," J.D mused.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Turk piped up. "I don't want to go home in case Cox is there."

"Why?" J.D mused.

"He found out we had sex in his bed," Carla breathed. "Oh let's go out and do something. All we've done is work since we've been here."

J.D pondered a moment and then smiled mischievously. "I think Elliot wants to go to the beach."

"What!" Elliot gasped.

"That's a great idea," Carla perked. "We'll go grab our stuff and meet back here," she added and grabbed the protesting Elliot to drag her away.

"What's wrong with Elliot?" Turk asked.

"She's got the hots for an attending," J.D mused. "Who happens to be a surfer."

"Dude," Turk laughed. "This I have got to see."

J.D and Turk hurried back to the dive they called home for the time being. Turk tried to hush an over excited and babbling J.D but all to no avail.

"I think I'd look really cool on a surfboard," J.D enthused as he dropped his backpack on the floor.

"J.D," Turk said through gritted teeth and then winced as Dr Cox appeared.

"Why girls, you're home," he announced cheerily and then frowned. "I'm so glad you're home because I really want to take a nap and I refuse to lie any where that might be caked in anything that could be carrying the DNA that created that gigantic bald dome. So before you kids grab your inflatable water wings and pull on your bikinis I'd really appreciate it if you changed the sheets on my bed."

"There isn't any spare sheets," Turk groused. "I checked before we left this morning."

"Well then gee Sadie you might just have to do some laundry before you go swimming between the flags," Dr Cox mused as he watched Turk shuffle into his room. "Good girl."

"So anyway," J.D perked, deciding he'd try and keep a cheery mood. "We're going to the beach do you want to come?"

Dr Cox looked at him strangely for a moment. "Yeah, sure."

J.D looked shocked. "Wait, are you serious? You actually want to do something with us?"

"Well it's a toss up between watching you get smacked in the head with a surfboard or a cosy night in front of the television with the Todd."

"Not seeing Gina?" J.D asked coyly.

"No, because for reasons I can't explain she's actually avoided me all day," Dr Cox sighed. "And once again, I get to see you getting smacked in the head with a surfboard."

"I'm glad you care so much."

"Heart warming isn't it," Dr Cox mused and then looked into his bedroom. "Come on Sadie I want those sheets cleaned sometime tonight!"


	9. Heroes

Heroes…

"Oh man, look at those guys," J.D gasped as he stared out at the surfers showing off as they glided over the wave on their boards. The beach was awash with sunbathing locals and tourists, surfers and a lone journalist talking into her camera about water pollution.

"Is Dr Noll out there?" Carla asked and looked teasingly at Elliot who pouted.

"Want a closer look?" Turk grinned and dropped his towel onto the sand. He grabbed Carla and jogged toward the water as she screamed, giggled and feebly tried to escape.

"Surfing doesn't look all that hard you know," J.D declared confidently and looked at Dr Cox.

"You know, you're right, all those professionals who nearly get killed in typhoons off Hawaii do it because it's just so damn easy," Dr Cox groused and crossed his arms.

J.D slumped and then asked coyly. "So are you gonna have a go?"

"Sure pumpkin," Dr Cox mused. "If only to see you flail about in the waves."

"I do not flail!" J.D huffed as they headed toward a stand of boards for hire. _I'll show him, I'll get out there and act like a pro and then we'll see who's flailing._

* * *

  


Elliot peeked out from under her wide brimmed hat as she fumbled with a beach umbrella. After several unsuccessful attempts she managed to get it to stand up in the sand. Pleased with the result she spread out her towel on the sand and sat down in the shade. The second her bottom touched the towel the umbrella keeled over and closed.

"Poopies," Elliot whined and shoved her hand into her bag to fish out her sun cream which she started to rub into her skin in extraneous amounts. She watched Turk and Carla playing about it the surf. Turk splashed Carla, who let out a shriek, and then as he laughed a large wave knocked him over, causing Carla to giggle until she was thrust under the water by a wave.

Elliot let out a long sigh once her cream was rubbed in and glanced over at the surfers, Dr Noll wasn't there and she was annoyed she was disappointed. Elliot distracted herself by watching Dr Cox and J.D paddling out on their boards, well Dr Cox was paddling out but J.D kept sliding off into the water.

_

* * *

  
_

The Todd arrived back at the tiny apartment after spending the best part of the afternoon stalking a well endowed nurse around the hospital. He was mildly disappointed to find none of his friends waiting eagerly for his arrival. He noticed a note on the table, grabbed it and read aloud.

__

Todd,  
Something came up and well all had to go out. However, there's a coupon for pizza and a copy of 'My Life as she-male in the FBI' to keep you occupied.  
J.D

Todd snatched up the video and grinned lasciviously. "It's just you and me Busty Betty, just you and me."_._

* * *

  


"Dr Cox," J.D panted as he pulled himself back on his board for the eighth time and he hadn't even attempted surfing yet.

"Yes Fiona?" Dr Cox mused, sitting unfazed on his board and watching the waves as he waited for a decent one.

"Has anyone ever died surfing?"

"Sure Newbie, or they get attacked by sharks or end up breaking their necks," Dr Cox replied. "But usually it's the shark thing."

"Oh, that's good to know," J.D swallowed, trying desperately to forget _Jaws. _He was imagining a fin circling his board when the right wave came along and he watched as Dr Cox caught it and surfed with ease back toward the beach.

__

HE CAN SURF! Great, now I'm going to look like a total…

J.D paused his thinking as he felt his board catch the wave.

__

Oh crap!

**************

"What the hell is he doing?" Turk gasped as he looked baffled at his friend who was, as Dr Cox predicted, flailing about on his board.

"Poor Bambi," Carla mused as she dried her hair with a towel. Dr Cox, who has sprinted up the beach to watch, started sniggering.

"That's the best thing I've seen since being here," he remarked as J.D washed up in the shallows.

"WOOHOO, I DIDN'T DIE!" he cried and was looked at strangely by the other surfers who were generally just ashamed that someone so incompetent could be associated with them. Proudly J.D got to his feet and then remembered his board, he'd barely moved a step when he tripped over it and went face first into the sand.

"Are you ok?" Elliot asked when he finally dragged himself up the beach to where his friends were.

"I'm just fine," J.D declared, puffing his chest out and digging his board into the sand, it toppled over almost immediately, causing Dr Cox to crack up again.

"God bless ya Newbie," he mused. "At least you're getting into the spirit unlike Barbie here."

"Just because I'm not swimming doesn't mean I'm not having fun," Elliot said defensively.

Turk and J.D looked at each other and grinned mischievously. Before Elliot could say another word they both leapt forward. Turk grabbed her arms and J.D grabbed her feet.

"NONONONONONONO!" Elliot wailed as they walked kneed deep into the water and began to swing her.

"One," J.D grinned.

"Two," Turk laughed.

"THREE!" they yelled together and let her go. Elliot screamed until she was muffled by the water. Turk and J.D looked at each other again and ran off laughing.

_

* * *

  
_

"See, isn't this fun," Carla perked, smiling at Dr Cox as she got herself comfortable on the sand.

"Sure," Dr Cox agreed. "And seeing as how I don't have any friends any more I'm guess I'm gonna have to get used to it."

"What do you mean?" Carla asked cautiously as she watched Turk and J.D laughing at Elliot who had seaweed stuck in her hair.

"You know what I mean," Dr Cox said coolly. "You warned Gina off."

"No I didn't," Carla said defensively. "Have you called Jordan since we've been here?"

Dr Cox laughed. "You couldn't be any more subtle."

"Y'know perhaps Gina finally grew a brain in that cotton wool head of hers and realised that you have a wife and child at home."

"Ex-wife," Dr Cox corrected. "And what I do is still none of you business."

"Fine, if you want to ruin everything you've worked so hard for with Jordan than don't let me stop you."

"Y'know if I didn't know better I'd almost think you were jealous," Dr Cox mused as Carla glared at him.

Carla was about to retaliate with a scathing remark when a cry went up from a group of surfers. Both she and Dr Cox looked over to see one of the surfers being laid on the beach, blood pouring from a wound on his head. Without a second though Dr Cox raced over with Carla not far behind, Turk, J.D and Elliot reached the unconscious surfer at the same time.

"Stand back, we're doctors," Dr Cox said with an air of authority that made people listen.

"He's not breathing," J.D declared, already on his knees.

"The wound doesn't look good," Turk added as he looked over the large laceration on the surfer's head.

"Newbie, commence CPR," Dr Cox declared. "You stop that bleeding," he added, looking at Turk. "Carla call an ambulance, go, go, go." Carla dashed off in the direction of a phone box.

"His pulse is dropping," Elliot piped up as Turk used his towel to wrap around the surfer's head.

"Dammit!" Dr Cox snapped as he and J.D continued with the CPR.

"What's happening?" a voice piped up and they briefly looked up to see the journalist, complete with her camera crew.

"We're trying to stop a human being dying pumpkin," Dr Cox groused.

"What happened to him?" the journalist asked, moving closer.

Dr Cox got to his feet. "BACK OFF," he snapped, causing the journalist and crew to look like startled bunnies and shuffle back. "Give the damn man his dignity for Christ's sake."

"Ambulance should be here ASAP," Carla announced, reappearing. "How's he doing?" The surfer spluttered and coughed up some water, J.D rolled him onto his side.

"We won't know until we know how bad that head injury is," Dr Cox sighed as they heard the ambulance siren.

"Thanks so much man," one of the surfers announced, stepping forward and extending his hand.

"We're just doing our jobs," Dr Cox replied, shaking the surfer's hand. "You gonna go with him?"

"Yeah," the shaken surfer nodded as the paramedics raced down the beach with a stretcher. The lifeguards keeping people back from the scene guided them through. "See you at the hospital."

"Right," Dr Cox nodded and then looked at the others.

* * *

  


The group arrived back at the hospital, still damp and smelling of beach. It turned out the surfer needed stitches which Turk was enlisted to do and was lucky to have escaped any serious damage to his head that wasn't cosmetic.

"Hey guy, you're on the news," Carla perked, poking her head around the door of the surfers room. J.D and Dr Cox looked at each other and then followed Carla into the doctors' lounge where Turk and Elliot were turning up the television.

__

….the surfer had received a nasty laceration to his head after his surfboard had struck him. Pulled from the water unconscious, a group of doctors visiting from the United States were luckily on hand to save his life…

"It looks just like ER," J.D mused, deciding this was far more heroic than saving the cameraman's life outside a strip club.

"I look like a skank," Elliot whined, noticing there was still seaweed in her hair as she was timing the man's pulse.

"I think I look more heroic when I'm shirtless," Dr Cox piped up as he stood behind the couch with his arms folded.

"I agree," a voice mused and they all looked to see Gina watching the news report as well.

"Thanks Blondie," Dr Cox smiled wryly.

"Yeah, anyway I wanted to warn you lot that you will be hounded by the press because everyone likes stories about heroes. You are not, under any circumstances to talk to them without me being present ok?" There was unanimous agreement before J.D just had to ask.

"Why?"

"Because all meetings with the media need to be monitored in case something is said that could make the hospital look bad."

"Like telling them the place is run by something spawned from the loins of Satan," Dr Cox explained with mock seriousness.

"Something like that," Gina agreed. "But anyway, great job guys I couldn't be more proud of you all," she added. "Now go home before Bruce thinks you're taking up room in his precious hospital."

The group departed eagerly, apart from Dr Cox who waited for them all to be out of earshot, especially Carla. "So you really think I look more heroic shirtless?" he asked as Gina switched off the television.

"Well, in a He-Man wearing furry panties kinda way, sure," Gina agreed. They looked at each other uncomfortably a minute. "Anyway, I've got paperwork to attend to."

"Wait!" Dr Cox demanded, scurrying over and blocking the door. "Are you avoiding me because of what Carla said?"

"Does it matter?" she asked, crossing her arms and cocking her head to the side.

"Yes it matters!"

"Why?"

Dr Cox flustered for a reason that wasn't "you're very hot" and instead went for, "Because I'd rather do paperwork with you than be stuck watching porn with the Todd."

"Ah, right," Gina nodded. "Well, if it's any consolation your act of heroism at the beach has increased the amount paperwork I have to do."

"I'm not apologising," Dr Cox said blankly and shook his head.

"I wouldn't expect you to," Gina smiled coyly. "By the way, yelling at that journo to 'back off,' nice work stud," she added, brushing past him on her way out of the doctor's lounge.

Dr Cox let out a whimper and looked over his shoulder to watch her walk away. "Why did you wait until now to make a guest appearance in my life huh?"


	10. Mighty Little Man

Mighty Little Man…

******************

__

Of all the things I didn't expect to happen in Australia like meeting the Crocodile Hunter and riding Skippy, becoming an overnight hero was the most unexpected thing of all. After the initial press conference and re-enactment for a current affairs show it seemed like we'd be etched into Australian history forever. 

However, as a doctor things change quickly and while yesterday we were heroes, today we're just doctors and because we spent the day schmoozing with the media we've all been put on-call tonight. Apart from Dr Cox who refused to get involved in the media circus and is probably propping up a bar somewhere since all this hero worship has given the media liaison more work.

******************

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Gina groused, pulling her phone from its cradle and watching as each little red light eventually gave up and disappeared. "Bloody doctors," she added, dropping her head into her hands.

"Oh see now I'm hurt," Dr Anderson mused, appearing at the door.

"Don't you have sick people to cure or something?"

"Actually by some freak of nature they're all stable and it's unnaturally quiet around here."

"Must be the calm before the storm."

"And just what do you mean by that?" Dr Anderson mused as he took to sauntering around Gina's office prodding things.

"That maybe it's a little too quiet," Gina shrugged. "Or maybe you're just lucky."

"Let's stick with lucky," Dr Anderson countered. "Anything else is a jinx."

"True," Gina agreed. "How are our American friends doing?"

"Between Dorian singing _Heroes _and the black guy dancing I think they're fine," Dr Anderson jeered.

"They're like dopey little puppies," Gina mused. "I wish we could keep them."

"I hate puppies," Dr Anderson scorned, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you sure you don't have lives to save?" Gina frowned as Dr Anderson's beeper went off.

"I'm being paged because someone has a runny nose!" Dr Anderson gasped.

"Oh better hurry along with a box of tissues then," Gina enthused, lobbing an unopened box at him.

"You know there's a reason we divorced," Dr Anderson groused, picking up the box of tissues and lobbing it back at Gina.

"Yeah, I was sick of hunting out a magnifying glass and tweezers," Gina teased.

Dr Anderson pouted before heading out of the door. "Evil, spiteful woman…"

******************

__

"Cos we can be Heroes, just for one day and we're gonna be ourselves, just for one day…"

"Bambi you so have to stop singing that song," Carla mused as she perused some paperwork. J.D was leaning against a nurses station desk seemingly dancing to invisible music. "Bambi!"

"_Just for one day_…What?" J.D gasped, finally shaking himself out of his daydream.

"Nevermind," Carla sighed as Turk appeared looking utterly bored. "Hey baby."

"Hey," Turk sighed. "I've never seen such a quiet hospital in my life. The only patient I've seen was a guy with broken leg."

"Tell me about it…" J.D nodded. "I palmed what little I had to do off on an intern."

"That's terrible," Turk scorned, looking disgusted at J.D. "Dude, you can't just make someone else do your work."

"I'm sleepy," J.D said pathetically. "I never realised how much being a celebrity could take it out of you. Besides, I only have a handful of patients and they're all asleep and fine."

Turk shook his head. "You wanna see if the café has any strawberry sundaes?"

"Why yes Dr Turk I do," J.D perked as Turk led them in the direction of the cafeteria. Carla pondered a moment, checked there were plenty of other nurses around and then hurried off to join them.

******************

__

You should never be too complacent as a doctor, while at that very moment things seem to be quiet and calm you never know when the tables are going to turn and what was once easy turns out to be a lot harder than you imagine.

******************

__

A tired man in his chair doesn't move he only stares 

At the machine across the room there's nothing there 

It's not getting through 

He finally stands up throws his hands up in the air

A blinding flash across the room a sudden crash a sonic boom 

Changes everything he knew 

******************

"Ross," Gina announced breathless as she found Dr Anderson stepping into the elevator. "Thank Christ I found you."

"Why? What's wrong?" Dr Anderson asked as they both slipped into the elevator.

"I just got a call from one of my media contacts," she breathed, her face the picture of seriousness. "There's been some sort of horror crash on the freeway, and I mean horror. A truck and a bus full of kids…"

"Jesus…"

"I don't know how bad they are but they'll be here within minutes," Gina explained. "The ER is horribly understaffed and you're to only resident here."

"What?" Dr Anderson gasped. "I'm in charge?"

"Yeah," Gina nodded.

"No, no that's a bad, bad idea…" Ross swallowed and began to pace the elevator until it stopped at the right floor. "I've never been in charge of anything, I'm horribly irresponsible…"

"You have so and you're not irresponsible when it comes to things that matter." 

"What about the hero himself, Cox?"

"He's not here, it's all up to you."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Dr Anderson sighed. Gina patted him on the shoulder before she headed off to warn security of the impending media onslaught and the frantic parents and relatives that were about to descend on the hospital.

******************

"So what's it like working with Dr Anderson?" Elliot asked. "I mean other than the fact he's a lazy jerk?"

"I wouldn't know," J.D mused. "I don't see him enough, he kinda hands all his patients to me and then disappears ninja-like."

"Makes you wonder how he ever got into medicine," Carla agreed and then winced. "Speak of the devil."

"Listen up everyone," Dr Anderson announced as he marched over and stopped beside their table. "There's been a nasty accident and we're about to have an influx of patients ok?"

"How nasty?" Turk asked, not looking all that flustered.

"A truck and a bus of kids," Dr Anderson replied bluntly. "We're short staffed so we've all got to work together. Turk and Todd, I want you down at the ER pronto," he ordered and Turk and Todd left immediately. "Dr Reid I'm gonna need your help with addressing the parents of the kids. As sexist as it is, you'll find the frantic mothers are more easily calmed by a woman. When not doing that you'll be helping Dr Dorian and Nurse Espinosa are we clear?" 

"Couldn't be clearer?" J.D said quietly as he tried to process everything he'd just heard.

"Good," Dr Anderson said gruffly. "So what are you waiting for, dancing girls and a pinata?"

J.D, Elliot and Carla quickly got up from their seats and headed out of the cafeteria. Dr Anderson took several reassuring deep breaths before he was ready to go out and face the carnage.

******************

__

Its everything he's never seen 

The biggest deal there's ever been 

Described in light upon the screen it said

Nobody else is stronger than I am

Yesterday I moved a mountain,

I bet I could be your hero

I am a mighty little man 

******************

It wasn't long before the hospital was overrun with young children needing desperate medical attention; everything from small cuts to emergency surgery was being undertaken. 

"So he's going to be ok?" a woman asked as she looked pleadingly at Elliot. Her face was white, the blood having drained from it long ago.

"Yes, your son is going to be fine Mrs Parker," Elliot soothed.

"Dr Reid," Dr Anderson announced causing Elliot to jump. "A word," he added less harshly. They moved into a quieter corner and Dr Anderson handed her a chart. "Mrs Parker's son just died."

"Oh," Elliot said speechless.

"We thought he was…" Dr Anderson's voice trailed off. "Anyway, break it to her gently yeah, he was her only child."

"Yes sir," Elliot said quietly and looked blankly at the expectant Mrs Parker.

Dr Anderson ran his fingers through his hair in the half a second before a worried couple approached him. 

"Doctor," the man swallowed. 

"Yes," Dr Anderson replied, trying to ignore the worried expression on their faces.

"We're looking for our daughter, she was on that bus," the man continued. "She's got blonde hair."

"She was wearing a red jumper," the mother piped up in words that were barely audible.

"Oh," Dr Anderson breathed. "I'm not sure if she's been admitted, I'll have to check with a few other doctors and I'll be sure to let you know just as soon as I find out," he said soothingly and then hurried toward the nearest corridor.

"Dr Anderson," J.D announced as he walked in the opposite direction. "The worst seems to be over man."

"The worst," Dr Anderson laughed coldly. "I've got to go back out there in a minute and tell a couple their twelve year old daughter is dead, mate it isn't anywhere near over."

"Sorry," J.D breathed, not knowing what else to say.

"So am I," Dr Anderson sighed, forcing himself to turn around and head back toward the waiting area.

"Ross," Dr Cox announced, appearing through the crowds. "I heard about what happened on TV, d'you need any help?"

"Yeah but not with work," Dr Anderson replied and then gave Dr Cox an appreciative look. "If you could take over admissions for me, that'd be peachy."

"Yeah, no problem," Dr Cox nodded. "So were you running the show tonight?"

Dr Anderson nodded as he headed toward the waiting parents. "Wasn't much of a show, too much tragedy."

******************

__

From way up here you can't look down

As of now there is no ground 

The microscope is turned around 

Don't be alarmed don't make a fuss 

He's still like you he's one of us 

And he'll come back before to long 

******************

"I can't believe it's finally quiet in here," Gina announced as the sky through the large, glass entrance windows started turning purple. There were only a few people left in the waiting area and most of them were asleep.

"It won't last," Dr Cox shrugged wearily mulling over a mug of coffee. "It never does."

"Thanks for helping out," Gina smiled. "From what I saw it was near chaos in here."

"Actually Ross had it all under control," Dr Cox smiled coyly. "I didn't have to do much other than deal with your normal run of the mill patients."

"It's a compliment Perry," Gina chided. "Take it."

"Well thankyou Blondie," Dr Cox jeered. "And since we're handing out compliments, you look very hot for someone who hasn't slept, bathed or probably eaten in 24 hours."

"Flatterer," Gina blushed and averted her attention to the papers in her hands.

"I've got a couple of hours before my next shift starts," Dr Cox piped up gingerly after a few seconds of silence. "Don't suppose I could buy you breakfast?"

"Now why would you want to do that?"

"Think of it as an apology for doing nothing but increasing your workload."

Gina looked up from her papers and pondered a moment. "Ok, breakfast it is. I've just got to hunt down Ross and tell him something and I'll be with you."

"I'll be waiting right here pumpkin," Dr Cox mused as he watched Gina saunter toward the elevator. 

******************

Dr Anderson stood on the roof of the hospital watching the sun rising, the sky now a deep array of pinks, oranges and yellows. 

"Finally," Gina mused as she appeared beside him. "Been looking for you everywhere."

"I needed to clear my head," Dr Anderson replied, not averting his eyes from the rising sun.

"Did it work?" 

"Nope," Dr Anderson breathed and hung his head. "Never does."

"You did amazing last night," Gina soothed, rubbing his back. "I mean I've known you a long time and seriously man, that's like a career high."

"Great, telling devastated parents their kids are dead is a career high," Dr Anderson groused. "Remind me to get that printed on a certificate."

"It could have been a lot worse," Gina breathed. "You know that."

"Yeah," Dr Anderson nodded. "It was a team effort though, those American kids worked damn hard and I even owe one to Perry."

"That's gotta hurt."

"Like a knife in my back babe," Dr Anderson sighed, exhausted.

"You gonna be ok?" Gina asked, wrapping him up in a comforting hug.

"Depends on whether I can con you into more than a hug?" Dr Anderson mused as Gina pulled away.

"No," she said with mock seriousness. "Go home and sleep yeah?"

"Sure," he agreed and watched and Gina disappeared back into the hospital. He gave the sunrise one last glimpse and then went in the same direction.

******************

__

He takes a breath and clears his mind 

Grabs his coat and steps outside 

An empty street there's no one there

He lifts himself into the air 

A billion thoughts expressed as one 

Etched in words across the sun it said

******************

"Hey Dr Anderson," J.D called as Dr Anderson, changed out of his scrubs into normal attire, strolled across the parking lot.

"What Dorian?" Dr Anderson sighed as he reached the waiting J.D

"I just wanted to say that I was impressed with the way you handled last night," J.D said sincerely. 

"I was just doing my job," Dr Anderson shrugged. "And you didn't do too badly yourself."

"Does this mean I won't have to discompact any more bowels?"

"No," Dr Anderson said with a raised eyebrow and then smiled cheekily. "Going home to sleep?"

"Nah, I'm still wound up," J.D shrugged. "I was thinking of heading to the beach…"

"Want to join me for a beer?"

"Sure," J.D said, trying not to show he was more than excited by the offer. They both paused as Gina and Dr Cox walked out of the hospital laughing and talking.

"Make that tequila slammers," Dr Anderson breathed and shook his head. "Come on Dorian, before I change my mind."

"Do you have an iron liver?" J.D asked as they headed in the direction of the nearest pub.

"Do you actually own a working pair of testicles?"

"I'm not showing you."

"Thank Christ for that."

"Dr Anderson."

"Yes Dorian."

"What's a wombat and where can I find one?"

"Oh for…"

******************

__

Nobody else is stronger than I am

Yesterday I moved a mountain 

I bet I could be your hero 

I am a mighty little man.

******************

__

Mighty Little Man by Steve Burns from the album Songs for Dustmites


	11. Ramifications

Ramifications…

It's a weird feeling when the opinion you've created about someone turns out to be completely wrong. I had been convinced Dr Anderson was the type of guy who'd gotten through medical school because his father was on the board, that he spent more time sleeping than treating his patients and had a liver made of iron.

"Another round here!" Dr Anderson called to the bartender who promptly poured two more tequila shots.

Ok, so I wasn't wrong about the iron liver…

"So, how long before we go home and get some sleep?" J.D asked gingerly as he rolled the shot glass around with his fingers.

"I never sleep," Dr Anderson replied before drinking his shot. "Except for the odd short burst in the On-Call room."

"Well balanced with your copious drinking that's got to be healthy," J.D breathed before finally taking his shot and wincing. "Yucky."

"You've no idea."

"About what? Being a doctor?"

"No, bilbies."

"Bilbies?"

Dr Anderson raised an eyebrow at J.D. "Do you actually think I can just switch off everything that happened last night and sleep peacefully? I can't mate; it runs through my head like a bad movie of the week. The distraught parents, screaming kids and the wishing I could do more."

"You did all you could," J.D soothed.

Dr Anderson laughed coldly. "You're just full of automatic doctorly responses aren't ya?"

"I'm sorry."

"And there's another one."

"Have you ever considered counselling?" J.D piped up in an attempt to change the subject. "I mean to help you cope with stuff."

"I used to have a wife to talk to," Dr Anderson pouted and motioned to the bartender. "Two more."

"Yeah," J.D breathed now desperate to change the subject. "So, what's a bilby?"

Dr Anderson looked at J.D and rolled his eyes. "It's a marsupial."

J.D pondered a moment before speaking again. "What's a…"

"It has a pouch."

"Like a…"

"Kangaroo, yes."

"What about a platypus?"

"It's a monotreme."

"Oh, what's…"

"It's got a pouch and lays eggs."

"Cool!" Dr Anderson raised an eyebrow at J.D. "Wish I had a pouch, I'd store cookies in it."

"Yeah, going home might be a good idea now," Dr Anderson said, looking at J.D like he was mental.

"I can't believe you convinced someone their mother died of a sore throat," Dr Cox half gasped, half laughed as he reached for his steaming mug of coffee.

"Eh, throw a few medical terms around, sound apologetic and people will believe anything," Gina shrugged. "And besides, a sore throat was actually attributed to how she died."

"Really?"

"It was a nasty scalpel incident."

"How do you live with yourself?"

"I generally don't," Gina frowned. "Haven't really slept since I got the job."

"So why do it?" Dr Cox breathed, unable to comprehend Gina's ability to tolerate working under Dr Alan Bruce. "Why be Bruce's lackey?"

"It pays the rent."

"So does prostitution and it'd be less likely to see you end up burning in hell for eternity."

"You think whoring myself is a better option than working in a hospital?"

"I'd pay for your services," Dr Cox declared, realised what he said and quickly backtracked. "If you were indeed working in that industry and I was a lonely, perverted old man who'd broken his fun hand."

"That's, ah, heart warming," Gina blustered as she toyed with her fork. "Thanks Perry."

"I try," he shrugged and they fell silent. Dr Cox tried to feign interest in his scrambled eggs but gave up. "So what is it with you and Ross huh?"

"Oh you know how it goes," Gina sighed. "You meet someone, fall madly in love and they leave you for a naturopath."

"I hate naturopaths," Dr Cox scorned. "If I want to ingest a bunch of sticks and grass I'll eat an herbivore."

Gina gave a small laugh and looked coyly into the distance. "It's hard though, I mean we still work in the same place. It's impossible not to still have feelings."

"Oh please," Dr Cox chided. "Feelings? You're still having shallow, loveless divorce sex like the rest of us."

"True," Gina nodded. "So how about you?"

"Me?"

"You did say 'the rest of us'," Gina quipped. "Who's the lucky lady?"

Dr Cox flustered a moment. "We're not talking about me here."

"Oh so there _is_ someone huh?"

"Did I not say we weren't talking about me?"

"You're avoiding the topic Perry."

"No one ever got kudos for being a nosy nelly Blondie."

"I'll ask Carla."

"She hates you, she won't tell."

"Remind me why she hates me again Perrarino?"

"Because she can."

Gina let out a frustrated growl. "No fair, I thought we were sharing."

"I hate sharing," Dr Cox groused and then lightened up. "Ok, fine I'll tell you…back home I have…well would you look at the time, I better get back to the hospital."

"Perry!"

"We'll pick this up later," Dr Cox chided as he got to his feet. "Thankyou for breakfast, it wasn't just the food that was great," he added and winked before heading for the door.

"Anytime," Gina smiled giddily as her elbow squelching into her leftover eggs. "Ah crap!"

J.D staggered into the apartment; he felt quite woozy after all the alcohol he'd consumed on a near empty stomach. He looked over to see Todd sprawled on the couch asleep. He was sporting his trademark animal print underwear, his blanket long abandoned on the floor.

"Mmm boobies," he mumbled in his sleep. J.D looked at him strangely and then shuffled on into the bedroom.

Turk was already in the single bed; he was lying diagonally and cuddling the pillow. J.D half drunk, half-asleep stripped his clothes off clumsily. His scrubs ending up in various corners of the room, his sneakers in the hall, until he was eventually in nothing but his boxers. He then climbed under the covers, sliding into the available spaces; his legs stretched over Turk's with his feet perilously close to Turk's face, before he promptly passed out.

Squeak, squeak, squeak

"Ahhhhhh!" Elliot woke with a start and leapt off her bed. She stopped to cringe in the corner and looked mortified at the mouse that was now cleaning itself on her pillow. "That's so gross," she whimpered and scurried out of her room and into Carla's.

Elliot padded across the room, still wrapped in her covers and fell onto the bed next to Carla.

"Problems?" Carla mumbled sleepily.

"A mouse has taken up residence on my pillow," Elliot replied miserably.

"Gross."

"I know."

"We'll have to talk to someone about get an exterminator in."

"Yeah," Elliot agreed. "Can I stay here?"

"Sure," Carla yawned as she turned over away from Elliot.

"We should probably have someone look at the leaky tap in the kitchen too and find out why the bathroom smells like embalming fluid."

"Shut up Elliot," Carla grumbled. "Or I give you to the mice."

"Sorry," Elliot apologised and shut her eyes tightly.

Squeak, squeak, squeak

Carla and Elliott's eyes sprung open and they moved closer together.

Much Later That Day…

"I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to think taking all their insulin at once is just a great idea," Dr Cox groused as he slapped down a clipboard at the nurses station. "Don't you sometimes think that we should be able to kick patients in the ass?" he added looking at the nurse that was closest to him. She looked mortified and fled in the direction of paediatrics. "Yes, thankyou for indulging me."

"It's sad to be that needy," a voice piped up and Dr Cox turned to see Dr Anderson beside him.

"Gee thanks for the pep talk Papa Smurf."

"Not a problem there Brutus."

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping or making toys or something?"

"I can't sleep," Dr Anderson shrugged, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Anyway, gives me a chance to check on my patients."

"Shall I go ahead and start playing my violin?" Dr Cox chided and then fell serious. "Listen, you're here for the same reasons I am. You've nowhere else to be right now."

Dr Anderson went to reply but was cut off by Dr Bruce. "Dr Anderson."

"Alan."

"I want a word with you about last night."

"I told you, it's never happened to me before."

Dr Cox stifled a laugh despite himself.

"Dr Anderson," Dr Bruce scowled. "Last night you let an inexperienced, foreign doctor tell the parents of a child that you knew was deceased, that she was fine."

"I didn't…"

"The parents were distressed Ross," Dr Bruce spat. "They've put in a complaint and at my hospital I don't like doctors who get complaints put against them."

"I think anything you have to say about last night is slightly hypocritical since you weren't even there," Dr Anderson retorted.

"I'd watch what you say Ross, I'm in two minds whether to suspend you until the whole thing is resolved."

"Look Alan," Dr Cox huffed, he turned around and crossed his arms. "Dr Anderson here did the best he could in the situation. It was mayhem in here and if only one mistake came out of it then, my god, you should be relieved."  
"I don't remember asking for your opinion Perry," Dr Bruce scorned, before he looked stoically at Dr Anderson. "Go home Ross, you're suspended until further notice."

"You can't do that!" Dr Anderson wailed.

"I just did," Dr Bruce smiled before he turned on his heel and stalked off up the corridor.

"Dammit!" Dr Anderson spat and slammed the clipboard he was holding onto the desk in front of him.

"Easy there pal," Dr Cox said empathically. "Can I offer you some advice?"

Dr Anderson looked angrily at Dr Cox before his face softened. "Sure."

"Keep doing you job," Dr Cox chided. "He can't fire you for doing your job."

"You're speaking from…"

"Experience yes," Dr Cox nodded. "It also helps if you're sleeping with a board member."

"All our members are men."

"Doesn't mean you can't sleep with them," Dr Cox shrugged and was glared at for the effort. "OK, so take a different tact. You're sleeping with the media liaison, surely she's got the ability to smooth things over with the bereaved parents."

Dr Anderson nodded and then stopped. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because Popeye, I like Gina and I feel she'd be upset if you were to be kicked out of medicine for something that clearly wasn't your fault. Now don't go thinking this means I like you now or even care what happens to you because take note, I don't, I honest to god care about as much as I do for kittens, puppies or who's going to be the next _American Idol_. "

"It hasn't been the same since they kicked off JPL," Ross pouted and then raised an eyebrow coyly. "So you want to sleep with the media liaison too huh?"

Dr Cox went to respond but then stopped himself. "I think Fantasia is great," he babbled and then turned back to his clipboard.

"Boofhead," Ross scowled as he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He glanced over his shoulder, let out a stifled squeal and then turned around to see Dr Bruce had appeared out of nowhere. "Don't sneak up on me!"

"I thought I told you to go home Dr Anderson," Dr Bruce spat.

"I'm working on it," Dr Anderson replied.

"Work on it quicker or I'll security evict you," Dr Bruce said nonchalantly and then stalked off in the direction of the cafeteria.

Despite the fact I was still suffering from the gallons of tequila Dr Anderson made me drink and a possibly broken foot from accidentally kicking Turk in the head, I was looking forward to working, not just because we were likely to be dripping in praise from our colleagues after last night's events but because I was now excited about working alongside Dr Anderson.

"I still think Skippy would be better at saving a kid down a well," J.D explained as he, Turk, Carla, Elliot and Todd entered the hospital in the evening.

"No way," Turk retorted. "Lassie would be the man for the job."

"Lassie was a girl baby," Carla mused as she let go of Turk's hand and fell into conversation with a nurse who just was finishing her shift.

"I knew that," Turk declared unconvincingly. "She'd be faster than a kangaroo."

"But kangaroos have pouches to store cookies in," J.D perked. "Lassie can't do that."

"Lassie is hot," Todd declared, looked at the more disgusted than usual looks from his friends and attempted to cover himself. "For a dog."

"Why good afternoon girls," Dr Cox piped up as he strolled over to the group. He looked haggard from the lack of sleep and extra workload he'd had to take on since Ross was suspended.

"Hey Dr Cox," J.D grinned inanely as Turk and Todd headed in another direction and Elliot was cornered by a man who was coughing so much he was struggling to breathe. "Is Dr Anderson around?"

"No, he's suspended until further notice," Dr Cox said distracted as he stopped to scribbled something on the clipboard in his hands.

"Suspended! What? Why?"

"There was a mix up last night and some parents were told their kid was fine when she was in fact taking up slab room."

"But he barely talked to any of the parents."

"Barbie did the talking."

"Oh."

"Anyway," Dr Cox mused finally looking up at J.D. "He's not here and so I'm being forced by the evil force that surrounds us to take charge. However, if I'm going to continue working to the best of my abilities I'm gonna need to get some sleep. In which case," he paused and handed his clipboard to J.D. "You're in charge Kylie."

"But I'm sleepy too," J.D pouted. "Turk likes to sprawl out in bed and I can't get comfortable without spooning." Dr Cox let out a whine, turned on his heel and headed toward the On-Call room. J.D looked at the clipboard in one hand and the backpack hung over his shoulder with the other. "Why can't I have a pouch…"

The pen that was secured under the clip on the clipboard slid out and fell to the floor. J.D went to retrieve it but the maintenance man collected it as he scooted past with a broom.

A pouch would have prevented that…


	12. Working it Out

Working it Out…

J.D stood leaning against the nurses' station surveying the various patients that were waiting for medical attention. There was an old man coughing so much that J.D expect him to either flood the room with phlegm or bring up a small furry animal. There was a younger man holding his arm and a woman who was unpleasant shade of yellow along with many more.

As I stood there feeling abandoned and tempted to flee for the nearest fire exit, I couldn't help but feel angry. Dr Anderson was going to lose his job for something that occurs frequently in every hospital. Mistakes do happen and when they happen there's nothing you can do but hope that everything turns out all right in the end.

"Hey J.D is it just me or is this place really busy tonight?" Elliot asked as she sidled up beside him.

"We're just slow," J.D shrugged. "What with Dr Cox sleeping and Dr Anderson suspended."

"What? Dr Anderson is suspended?" Elliot gasped looking confused. "Why?"

"Because the parents of one of the kids last night was told their daughter was fine." J.D sighed. "But she wasn't."

"Oh," Elliot said her eyes going wide. "But I was doing all the…oh…"

"Yeah," J.D said sadly.

"This is my fault," Elliot pouted. "I'll go talk to Dr Bruce."

"He won't listen," J.D shrugged. "We tried but since Dr Anderson was in charge it's on his head."

"Oh," Elliot whined. "Now I have to live with the knowledge I ruined his career.

Yeah, guess you do.

"What am I gonna do J.D?"

"I don't know," J.D sighed then brightened up. "You could dress as a Vegas showgirl and start walking the corridors preaching the values of gambling."

"How would that help?"

"Oh it wouldn't," J.D mused. "But I like the idea of you in sequins."

Elliot let out a huff and marched off in the direction of a private patient's room.

"Shiny," J.D smiled dreamily.

Dr Cox, who had woken from his nap, decided he wasn't quite ready to delve back into dealing with the great unwashed and instead stalked the corridors until he found Gina's office. He rapped on the door and waited; there was no reply. He knocked again and then checked the handle. It turned and he opened the door to find the room empty and the desk cleared.

"She's left," Carla announced walking up behind him.

"Really?" Dr Cox chided. "I thought she was hiding behind the fax machine."

"I mean she's really left."

"As if," Dr Cox said with a forced laugh, "she wouldn't just up and leave."

"Yeah she would and she did," Carla countered. "Apparently she told Dr Bruce to shove it after he suspended Dr Anderson."

"But she can't leave," Dr Cox declared shocked. "She can't just do that."

"It's her life, she can whatever the hell she wants," Carla shrugged, not at all pleased with Dr Cox's concern.

"But the hospital needs her," Dr Cox continued. "Who else can ease the horrific deaths of loved ones in the way she does?" Carla shook her head as Dr Cox's arms began to flail. "It can't happen like this, she can't just leave that's irresponsible."

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little."

"No," Dr Cox scorned. "I'm thinking of the hospital, the hospital will suffer and I can't let that happen. As a doctor it would be a crime," he let out a grunt and stormed off toward the elevator still babbling about the needs of the hospital and how Bruce needed to be strung up by his testicles, smeared in vegemite and eaten by bloodthirsty Tasmanian Devils.

"Hi, I'm your doctor," Turk smiled and extended his hand toward the woman lying on the clean pressed sheets of a hospital bed. The woman wasn't quite so clean, she was older, toothless and her skin was like leather from long hours in the sun. "Dr Turk."

"You're American."

"Yes ma'am I am."

"I don't like your lot."

"O-k," Turk took a steadying breath. "Aside from that little piece of information. What seems to be the problem?"

"Tania bit me," the woman grumbled. "I tired to stop her but no…"

"And Tania would be?" Turk asked. "And please don't say your sister."

"One of my Taipans."

"A snake!"

"Yes a snake," the woman grunted. "She's deadly too."

"Fantastic," Turk swallowed. "I have to tell you I'm not au fait with snake bites."

"No, you don't look like you would be."

"And what's that supposed to me?"

"Well where you're from you're more likely to be shot eh?" the woman snorted. "In the ghettos."

"Excuse me? Are you saying that because I'm black I must have grown up in a ghetto?"

"No, I'm saying it because you're a flippin' septic."

"You're a nasty woman and just for that you can wait for the anti-venom."

"Well you've got six minutes then before it kills me," the woman huffed and crossed her arms. "And my legs are already numb."

Turk did a double take and then fled the room before she decided to ask him to suck the poison out or marry her sister-cousin.

Elliot, who was vaguely dazed and feeling incredibly guilty, found an empty private patients room and sat herself on the edge of the bed. Before her scrubs touched the linen she felt the tears pricking at her eyes. She knew what had happened was an accident and she knew no one blamed her but it still didn't stop her from feeling terrible about Dr Anderson's fate.

"You ok?"

Elliot looked up to see Dr Noll standing at the door. His tanned skin looked darker and hair even blonder. "Fantastic," she said with a wet smile.

" Let me guess," he soothed as he sat himself next to her. "You're feeling guilty about the whole Dr Anderson situation? Am I close?"

"Spot on," Elliot nodded as Dr Noll handed her a tissue. "It's not fair you know. He worked so hard last night and he gets this in return. If I hadn't said anything…"

"But you had to say something," Dr Noll countered. "The parents expected you to say something."

"It's still sucky," Elliot sniffed and then blew her nose into the tissue. "What'll happen if he loses his job?"

"He won't lose his job," Dr Noll soothed and put a comforting arm around Elliot. "They'd be fools to let one of the few competent doctors around here go."

"You can't be sure of that."

"Well, Gina resigned in protest and Bruce would rather be tortured by American troops in an Iraqi prison than lose her," he paused. "No offence."

"None taken."

"I mean, who else is going to do his dirty work with little if no protest?"

"I hope you're right," Elliot sighed heavily and leaned into Dr Noll's side. His warmth and the feeling of protection that he radiated were overwhelming.

"It'll all work out," Dr Noll smiled. "Trust me."

And she did.

Dr Anderson sat sprawled on his couch, a half-drunk bottle of whisky in one hand. He lifted the bottle and swirled the contents, through his bloodshot eyes it all just looked blurry. He sighed heavily. He wasn't just sulking he was mourning his career. He hated Dr Allan Bruce, by god he hated him. Dr Anderson gulped another mouthful of the liquid and let it burn its was down his throat. It wasn't making him feel better, nothing really could. He was on the verge of losing the only two things that meant anything to him, his job and his ex-wife.

The anger cursed through his veins again and he got to his feet and marched into the kitchenette. Dr Anderson poured the rest of the contents of the bottle down the sink and then left the bottle there. He couldn't let his whole life become a pit of despair. He wasn't going to let his job, his career, his passion become a memory thanks to Dr Allan Bruce. Ross Anderson was a stronger human being than that.

He staggered into his bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. An all night bender was not going to solve his problems and he decided it would be best to sleep off his intoxication before fighting with every last muscle to keep the things that were important to him.

"Ugh," Dr Cox gagged. "I don't know if this is water or a urine sample."

"Dr Cox," Carla announced marching up to him. "There's a patient you might want to see."

"What? Why? Isn't anyone capable of administering medical help without me?"

"Did I say anything about medical help?" Dr Cox looked at Carla's fierce expression for a moment and then motioned for her to lead the way. They went down a floor and along a corridor that was dotted with private rooms. "In there," she declared and motioned to one of the rooms.

Dr Cox pushed open the door and stopped dead. Sitting on the bed still fully clothed and looking unhappy about being there was Gina.

"Did I ask you to try and stick a small torch in my eye?" she snapped at a lowly intern. "No I don't think so."

"Calm down there Ava Braun," Dr Cox chided striding into the room.

"Perrarino," Gina peeped seemingly surprised that he was there. "Could you remove the incompetent tool from my personal space?"

The intern looked anxiously at Dr Cox. "You heard the lady there pipsqueak," he scorned. "Skedaddle!" The intern fled and Dr Cox averted his attention back to Gina. "Why are you here?"

"She was assaulted," Carla piped up and handed Dr Cox a clipboard.

"It wasn't so much assaulted as in some nutbar tried to steal my bag and in my attempt to fend him off I got whacked in the eye and twisted my ankle," Gina huffed. "Still, on the upside he won't be reproducing anytime soon."

"Are you ok?" Dr Cox asked trying to sound concerned in a doctorly way rather than a 'I want to see you naked' way.

"Oh I'm just super," Gina sarced as she sat back on the bed. Dr Cox gently unzipped her boot and instantly pointed out the swelling.

"Ok, let me know if this hurts."

"Ow."

"And this?"

"Ow."

"Right, and this?"

"Oh Jesus…"

"Yeah, it's sprained," Dr Cox nodded. "Carla could you get me a bandage?"

"Sure," Carla said with an air that suggested that she didn't want to leave the room.

"Ok, let me have a look at that eye now," Dr Cox breathed. Gina sat up and let Dr Cox gently take her face in his hands as he surveyed the light bruising around her eye.

"Will I live?" she asked softly, ignoring the pain she actually felt and enjoying the sudden closeness.

"Nothing a bit of make-up won't cure," Dr Cox replied swallowing. There was a brief moment where they studied each other and Gina felt his thumb softly stroke her cheek causing her to shudder. "Look Gina…"

"Here's your bandage," Carla piped up as she entered the room.

Dr Cox let go of Gina and she tried to hide her reddened cheeks. "Thankyou Carla," he said gruffly and held out his hand.

"No problem," Carla groused, dropped the bandage heavily into his hand and marched back out of the room.

"Dr Dorian," Dr Bruce declared as he approached J.D who was daydreaming. J.D was so startled he let out a yelp.

"Dr Bruce," he gasped.

"I want you to round up your friends and prepare witness statements about last night's events."

"Why?" J.D couldn't help but ask. "I mean anyone can see that Dr Anderson did nothing wrong."

"That may be Dr Dorian," Dr Bruce smiled coldly. "But I think we'll leave it up to the board to decide, don't you?"

"Of course," J.D breathed and watched as Dr Bruce half-skipped back down the corridor.

Yeah, it'll all work out in the end…


	13. Late Night Cha Cha

Late Night Cha Cha…

It's said that 75-90% of people visit doctors due to stress which makes me wonder whether it's logical for a doctor to seek out another during their own time of need? You see, at the moment I'm torn. I could effectively follow Dr Bruce's orders and have all those who witnessed the events of the previous night write witness statements and while all these may be glowing in appraisal for Dr Anderson there's the distinct probability they'll be ignored anyway. I could also march right into Dr Bruce's office, tell him to go stick his witness statements where only Dr Roberto the resident proctologist has the unfortunate pleasure to look and demand that Dr Anderson be taken off suspension. Either way, I think he's screwed and I'm going to end up rocking back and forth in the corner.

"Everything all right Bambi?" Carla asked sidling up next to J.D.

"Which corner do you think would be best to have a breakdown in?"

"What?"

"Dr Bruce wants me to get everyone to write witness statements about the other night."

"God he's such a jerk!"

"I know," J.D nodded sadly. "He'll probably ignore them anyway."

"He'll probably read them and laugh."

J.D let out a huff. "I wish there was something more I could do you know?"

"I know Bambi," Carla soothed. "I guess all you can hope for is that the board takes Dr Anderson's side and not Bruce's."

"It's so not fair," J.D sighed looking at his hands; his knuckles were white from being clasped so hard. "So why are you looking so troubled?"

"Me?" Carla said surprised. "I'm just tired."

"Carla."

Carla let out a hiss of breath. "I don't like how close Dr Cox and Gina are getting. It's not right, he's got a family, he doesn't need that little blonde harlot ruining everything he's worked so hard for."

"Don't you think that's kinda his decision?" J.D asked gingerly. "I mean they're both adults and everything."

"You can't tell me you're condoning what he's doing."

"Well as far as I know he hasn't done anything."

"You men are all the same," Carla spat. "I wouldn't be surprised if Gina wasn't really mugged at all."

"Gina was mugged?"

"She twisted her ankle and got a black eye," Carla groused. "I'm starting to think it all seems a little convenient."

"That's a bit harsh don't you think?" J.D frowned. "I mean any doctor could have seen her."

"But I told Dr Cox," Carla said sheepishly. "I'm such an idiot."

"I think the word is hypocrite."

"Bambi!"

"What," J.D shrugged as Carla snatched up a pile of paperwork and stormed off. "It's true," he added.

"What's true dude?" Turk asked, appearing with the Todd.

"Your wife is clearly insane," J.D replied.

"Yeah, I knew that before I married her," Turk chided and then looked around quickly to make sure Carla wasn't it hearing distance. "So what you doing now?"

"Avoiding patients," J.D shrugged. "I'm building up the enthusiasm to visit Mr Mills."

"Is he really sick?" Turk asked curiously.

"No, he just refuses to wear any clothes," J.D winced. "He was even admitted naked."

"So, you've seen naked people before," Turk laughed.

"He's 300 pounds," J.D said blankly.

"Dude!" Turk and Todd said together.

"And hairy," J.D continued. "Like a camel."

"I so did not need that image," Turk mumbled as his beeper went off. He let out a groan. "Later," he nodded and hurried off.

"Looks like it just you and me Todd," J.D said, trying to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

"Hey Todd," perked a pretty looking, dark haired nurse as she walked past the two men.

"Sorry dude," Todd grinned and turned away from J.D. "Hey Sofie, wait up!"

Wait a second the Todd has a girlfriend! Oh my God when did that happen? That means I'm the only single one out of all my friends here. That can't be right. Why do I suddenly feel very alone?

"Hey there pumpkin, it's time to get you home," Dr Cox declared waltzing into the private room where Gina was still waiting.

"What? You think I need assistance?" Gina countered sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"As your doctor I'm categorically telling you that you not only must keep off that ankle for a couple of days but you're also likely to be suffering from shock."

"I drove myself here Perry," Gina scorned. "I'm quite capable of driving myself home."

"Fine, if you can walk to your car you can drive yourself home," Dr Cox nodded. He crossed his arms and watched her slide off the bed onto her feet. Gina winced but stoically started taking very slow, limping steps. "Just so you know I'd like to get some sleep before I have to come back to this hell hole."

"No one is asking you to be here," Gina breathed still not even at the door.

"I can't possibly take any more of this," Dr Cox declared as he stepped forward and swept Gina up into his arms. He threw her over his shoulder and marched down the corridor.

"Perry!" Gina groused, feebly slapping his back. "I'm not an invalid."

"Shuddup," he chided, glad she couldn't see the smirk on his face. In fact he was enjoying the moment so much he didn't even care that Carla was standing there glaring at him - he took the pleasure to smile and wave at her.

They reached Gina's car and he demanded her keys before unlocking the vehicle and plopping her onto the passenger seat.

"You do know how to drive on this continent right?" Gina asked as he kicked the engine into gear.

"Nope," Dr Cox mused. "But I'm sure as hell gonna find out."

"I suppose on the upside when we crash you can administer medical attention."

"Thatta girl, think positive," Dr Cox smirked and tore out of the car park.

"Hey Elliot," Dr Noll called as he strode out of a patient's room and caught Elliot in the corridor.

"Dr Noll," Elliot said half-surprised, half-ashamed because of her mini breakdown earlier.

"Please, Stu."

"Sorry, Stu."

"Much better," Dr Noll smiled. "Anyway I meant to ask you before, what're you doing after your shift?"

"Sleeping," Elliot replied without thinking. "I need eight hours or I start to crave sugar, and when I eat sugar I get like a wave of pimples and my whole head turns into like one big puss ball."

"Sleeping is good," Dr Noll said blankly and then shook his head. "Or we could do something."

"Doing something is good to," Elliot agreed. "Doing something like what exactly?"

"I'm not sure but I think it might involve sleeping," he said cheekily.

"Huh?" Elliot said, thought a moment and then her eyes went wide. "Oh!"

"Think about it," Dr Noll smiled, stepped forward and brushed his lips against hers. By the time she opened her eyes he was gone but her lips hummed.

"Thought about it," she peeped and smiled giddily.

"Dr Dorian," Dr Bruce announced coldly as he walked up behind J.D who was washing his hands after dealing with Mr Mills.

"Dr Bruce," J.D replied and rolled his eyes.

"How are the witness statement coming along?"

"Y'know sir, I've been kinda busy and haven't gotten around to them yet."

"Well if it helps I can get someone to cover the rest of your shift…"

"That won't be necessary."

"Oh so you'll start straight away?"

"No, because I won't do something I don't believe is right," J.D declared. "If you believe Dr Anderson did something wrong then fine but don't ask me to help you because I don't think he did anything wrong. You're going to have to find your evidence somewhere else," he finished, turned on his heel and walked away leaving Dr Bruce speechless.

"So, are you gonna tell me why you quit?" Dr Cox asked as he piggybacked Gina up the stairs to her apartment.

"Not that it's got anything to do with you," Gina replied. "But I'm not going to be part of something that ruins Ross's career. I figure if I stayed I'd be part of that select group that would destroy him."

"Call me crazy if you want Blondie but surely in that position you could also help him."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, couldn't you make it so he comes out looking like a hero rather than a villain? I mean you control the way everything is perceived and I'm sure as hell that you could convince those people to drop the lawsuit."

"I did try Perry," Gina sighed as they reached her apartment. "And they said that I'm just a face at that I don't actually know anything."

"What?" Dr Cox said shocked and narrowed his eyes. "I bet Bruce had something to do with it."

"No doubt," Gina sighed looking over Dr Cox's shoulder as he fumbled with her keys to open the door. "What are you doing?"

"I'd like to see you open a door with a person hanging off your back."

"You offered."

"I'll drop you if you're not nice," Dr Cox declared and tilted back quickly. Gina squealed and gripped him more tightly.

"Bastard!"

"Eh, you love it," Dr Cox chided finally getting the door open.

"And you're not enjoying showing off your muscles by carrying me about everywhere?"

"I'm just sorry I couldn't take my shirt off," Dr Cox mused. "I know you prefer it that way."

"My god could you have a bigger ego?"

"Could you have bigger thighs," Dr Cox gasped. "I mean really, I'm struggling to hold on."

Gina let out a gasp and attempted to strangle him. He tried to prize her off but she clung to him like a monkey. Eventually he lost balance and they both landed on the couch in fits of laughter.

"Are you ok?" Dr Cox chuckled as he sat slumped down on the couch.

"Yeah," Gina nodded breathless. She leaned in closer to him. "You?"

"No," he smiled and realised their eyes were locked on one another. He let out another laugh and forced himself to look away. "You're so bad for me."

"Sorry, didn't mean to strangle you," Gina breathed.

"That's not what I meant," Dr Cox countered. "You're bad for me because you're the only person on earth who gets me. Back home I see two shrinks, one that tries to avoid me frequently," he paused lost in thought a moment. "Here, I've not even thought about therapy because for once in my God damn life I don't have to explain myself."

"And that's bad?"

"Yeah it means I could do all kinds of stupidly aggressive, idiotic things and you're not going to pull me up on it."

"You like strong women don't you Perry?" Gina mused, enjoying the vaguely embarrassed expression on his face.

"I thought I did," Dr Cox sighed and found himself reaching out to stroke her arm. "But then it could've just been my way of avoiding having to show too much affection. Most of my relationships have been based on sex, fighting and then make up sex."

"It's a viscous cycle," Gina agreed looking down at his fingers that were tracing lines down her forearm. She looked back up with a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "It doesn't have to be like that though."

"Yeah," Dr Cox breathed and then winced and pulled away to look at the roof. "I should leave."

"You don't have to," Gina pouted instinctively grabbing his hand.

"I know," Dr Cox agreed getting to his feet. "That's the problem."

"Hey Turk," J.D perked, hurrying to catch up with his friend as he was heading out of the hospital. "Whatcha up to buddy? Fancy heading to a bar or something to wind down?"

Turk winced. "Sorry dude but I kinda promised the Todd that Carla and I would go on a double date with him and Sofie."

"Great," J.D pouted. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Wrestle a crocodile."

"What?"

"Isn't that what Australians do?"

"No that's just Steve Irwin," J.D frowned and then brightened a little. "I wonder if he's home…"

"Baby you ready?" Carla asked as she sidled up to the in thought pair.

"Always," Turk replied sharing a quick kiss with his wife.

"Poor Bambi," Carla cooed smiling at J.D. "You should enjoy having a night to yourself though."

"Yay," J.D said sarcastically.

"Baby are you saying that you want some alone time?" Turk asked as he escorted Carla out of the hospital.

"No baby," Carla replied. "I love spending time with you…mostly."

"What?"

J.D rolled his eyes and tried to convince himself that a night in alone was a normal, healthy thing to do and he shouldn't be feeling abandoned and needy. He brushed off his disappointment and strode out into the cool evening air.

"Hey J.D," Elliot perked, straightening up as she leant against the railings.

"Hey Elliot," J.D half-smiled, thought a moment and then asked. "You wouldn't want to go get a beer or something would you?"

"Oh sorry," Elliot soothed. "I'm going out with Stu."

"Oh great," J.D said, feigning enthusiasm. "You have a fantastic time now."

"Please, he's already propositioned me," Elliot grinned.

"Go you," J.D chided and headed off through the car park. His smile falling into a deep frown as he disappeared into the shadows.

Elliot was checking her reflection in the door for the twelfth time when Dr Noll appeared. Gone was his white coat and scrubs. Now he was sporting a nice pair of butt hugging jeans and a t-shirt making him look not only younger but also the tanned, surfer boy Elliot had been looking for.

"I wasn't checking my reflection," Elliot said quickly and then pouted as she wondered why she said it.

"Even if you were I'd be jealous of the door," Dr Noll replied.

"What?"

Dr Noll shrugged. "I just said the first thing that came into my head."

"Oh," Elliot smiled and then laughed. "So, Stu what've you got planned for me?"

"Well, there's a little ritual I have," Dr Noll declared. "Something I do after every late shift. Would you like to share the experience with me? I promise it's a great way to chill out."

"Sure," Elliot beamed. "I could really do with ah, chilling out, I mean I'm still trying to refrain from crying uncontrollably after a nurse pointed out the skin on my nose is peeling."

"Right," Dr Noll nodded slowly and then laughed to himself. "You're gonna love this," he added taking Elliot's hand and leading her toward his car.

"You betcha!" Elliot agreed as she ignored her mother's voice in her head lecturing her about getting into cars with strange men.

Dr Cox arrived back at the shoebox apartment and was pleased to find it vacated. He sunk down onto the couch, and then realised Todd slept there and leapt up with a yelp. He looked around generally annoyed a moment before stalking into his bedroom and stretching out on the bed.

Dr Cox stared at the ceiling fan that was spluttering its circles. There were three things clawing inside his head for attention. (1) Should he call Jordan, (2) Should he have stayed with Gina and (3) Why in God's name was there a series of shrinking circles drawn on the ceiling fan?

He decided that despite his aching desire to find out how his son was, there was no way in hell he was calling Jordan. The parts of him that wanted to go back to Gina were going to be ignored or satisfied (reluctantly) with one of Todd's videos and he really didn't want to know the answer to the circle thing.

"So how long have you and Todd been friends?" Sofie asked as she sipped her glass of wine.

"Three years," Turk replied. "We met the first day we started as interns."

"Turk's my best friend," Todd perked nodding and then grinned. "I know what I'd like to intern."

"Todd!" Carla gasped as Turk's eyes went wide with shock.

"High five!" Sofie giggled and she and Todd high-fived.

"Oh my god," Carla breathed. "There's two of them."

"This is either a proud day for Todd," Turk gasped. "Or really disturbing."

"The second one," Carla mumbled before grabbing her own glass of wine and sculling half of it.

"I'm gonna need something stronger over here," Turk declared motioning to a nearby waiter.

J.D sat on a barstool, propping himself up at the counter in the first pub he'd come to. Usually the raucous bikers, half-tanked yobbos and loud music emanating from the array of poker machines would put him off but he was feeling so low that he didn't notice any of it and was just concentrating on working his way through a bottle of whatever was cheap.

"You are going to be so sick in the morning," a voice declared.

"Doesn't matter," J.D huffed. "I'm a doctor I'll prescribe myself something."

"You're never a doctor."

"Am too."

"Hell, if you were my doctor I'd be breaking down your door for a physical."

"I don't work in an office I work in a…" as J.D looked up his voice trailed off. On the barstool beside him was a stunning looking girl. Skin tanned from the sun and hair bleached from the same. She was toying with a half-drunk beer and she had the brightest blue eyes J.D had ever seen. "Hospital."

"Are you Canadian?"

"American."

"Eh," the girl shrugged. "Same thing."

"I'll have you know we're very different missy."

"Well so are Aussies, Brits and Kiwis and you lot can't tell the difference."

Damn, she's right! But she's beautiful and I can forgive her.

"So what's your name Mr Very Cute American Doctor?"

"Well there's that," J.D nodded. "Or people call me J.D."

"Well people call me Sandy…"

"Like the beach?"

"More like from _Grease_."

"I love that movie," J.D perked. "When I was in high school we did a rendition of it and I was Frenchy."

"Frenchy's a girl."

"I know," J.D said sadly. "So, Sandy what're you doing all alone in a place like this?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"But my name's not Sandy."

Sandy looked at J.D strangely a moment and then giggled. "You're such a dag."

"A dag? Should I be offended?"

"Same as a dork but more endearing."

"Oh, ok."

J.D took another drink of whatever it was he was drinking while Sandy finished her beer. "So, Dr J.D would you be up for giving me that physical?"

"We're not supposed to administer medical assistance under the influence of alcohol."

"Then we'll just have to sober you up then," Sandy smiled wickedly, grabbed J.D's arm and escorted him from the pub.


	14. Looking Back, Looking Forward

Looking Back, Looking Forward...

Working in a hospital you get used to having a dozen people talking at you all at once, so when nobody is talking at all you know that something is going down.

"Hey Carla," J.D mused sidling over to the nurses' station. "How was dinner last night?"

**Flashback**

**As Todd sat poking the food on his plate he gave a wry smile. "I love breast...chicken breast that is."**

**Sophie squealed with laughter and held up her hand. "High five!"**

**Carla and Turk sat there stunned, the food dropping off their forks**

"It was interesting," Carla replied looking slightly uncomfortable. "Did you manage to entertain yourself Bambi?"

**Flashback**

** J.D stood at the edge of a luxurious looking swimming pool and admired a purple inflatable horse. "This is awesome."**

**"I know," Sandy enthused as she started to strip off her clothes. J.D took a few extra seconds to admire the horse, before he looked up and realised Sandy was butt naked.**

**"Oh my god!" he gasped as he covered his eyes.**

**"Gonna join me?" Sandy asked before she took a flying leap into the pool.**

**"Oh," J.D burbled. "Ok," he hesitated a moment before hurriedly attempting to remove his clothes. In his rush, J.D got twisted in his shirt and fell into the pool. He quickly regrouped and removed the rest of his clothes, then headed towards the purple horse. As his fingers touched the plastic the pool was illuminated and a man stormed out of the house.**

**"GET THE HELL OUTTA MY POOL!"**

**"Y...Your pool?" J.D swallowed and looked around for Sandy. He discovered she has disappeared and so he clambered out of the pool, bundled his wet clothes into his arms and was chased naked through the garden. Just as he thought he was safe J.D tripped and fell into a mound of freshly cut grass.**

"It tickled my giblets."

"What?"

"I watched a cooking show," J.D said weakly. "They cooked chicken," he added and then walked off quickly.

"Oh," Carla said blankly before averting her attention back to some paperwork. She was starting to make progress when Dr Cox appeared with a mug of coffee and looking more annoyed than usual. "My, someone is looking cheerful today."

"I'm so happy I might actually insert my stethoscope into the colon of the next person who crosses my path and check their heart beat from the inside." As the words left his lips the maintenance man came past with a mop, leaving Dr Cox's sneakers doused in a pool of dirty water. Dr Cox growled and cracked his knuckles. "Hey soap jockey I thought the aim in mopping was to cleanse the floor not infuse my footwear with deadly bacteria."

"You shouldn't be in the way then," the maintenance man shrugged. "I work in a straight line. Anything in my way gets mopped by ol' Tom here."

"You call your mop Tom?" Dr Cox said in disbelief.

"We spend so much time together it seems only right," the maintenance man sighed as he absent mindedly swiped ol' Tom over the crotch of Dr Cox's scrubs.

"Hey!" Dr Cox yelped, snarled and then childishly tipped his coffee onto the floor. Carla shook her head as he whistled loudly. "Better clean that up pleb." He grinned and then stalked off toward the elevator.

As the doors closed Dr Cox looked down at his sneakers and frowned deeply - not only were they dirty but he was likely to end up with a nasty crotch infection as well. The doors hissed open at the next floor and he stepped out into the corridor and noticed a familiar figure walking in his direction. "Gina!"

Gina ignored him as she strode past him and into the elevator, the doors closing without her even looking up to acknowledge him.

Carla was still hunched over her paperwork when she heard heavy footsteps approach from behind her.

"Nurse Espinosa."

She turned around, looked up and was surprised to see the head nurse, Nurse Collins. She was an older woman, with thick arms and a tight bun.

"Yes."

"I don't know what you're rules are at home but while you're at my hospital I would appreciate it if you removed those earrings and tied back your hair."

"But Nurse Collins, this is..."

"I will not repeat myself Nurse Espinosa," Nurse Collins said sternly as she crossed her arms. Carla reluctantly took out her earrings and hunted out a scrunchie to tie her long hair back. "Much better."

Carla gave a small nod and waited until Nurse Collins has left before she tucked her earrings safely away in her bag.

"Oh my god Carla what happened?" Elliot gasped as she slapped a clipboard onto the counter. "Did someone die? Because if someone died and you didn't tell me I'm gonna feel so bad."

"Nobody died Elliot."

"Then why is your gorgeous Latina hair tied back and your oversized earrings removed?"

"Nurse Collins has individuality issues."

"Oh," Elliot said blankly. "Well at least you can see your ears now...some people like ears."

"Right," Carla frowned half-wishing Elliot would go away. "So are you gonna tell me what happened with Doctor Noll last night?"

"Dr Noll?" Elliot swallowed and began fumbling with a patient file.

**Flashback**

**"Is that a plastic paddling pool?" Elliot asked looking at the jungle decorated, inflatable, and water filled children's pool on the roof of Dr Noll's block of flats.**

**"Wasn't really the room for a proper above ground number," Dr Noll shrugged and bent down to fiddle with something in the dark. Suddenly the rooftop was illuminated in a soft purple glow.**

**"Oh how pretty," Elliot smiled before a loud 'zap' rang out causing her to jump. "Did the light just kill something?"**

**"It's a bug zapper," Dr Noll winced. "We get a lot of mosquitos."**

**"Oh."**

**"So you want go for a swim."**

**"In that?"**

**"Yes."**

**"Is it clean?"**

**"Of course it's clean," Dr Noll frowned and then smiled. "Trust me, I'm a doctor."**

**Elliot gave a small laugh and watched as Dr Noll removed his shirt. She fought every facial muscle not to let her mouth fall open as she observed his chiselled body and deeply tanned torso.**

**"You're wearing your cozzie right?"**

**"My what?"**

**"Swimming costume?"**

**"Oh, yes," Elliot peeped and slowly started taking off her skirt. Dr Noll took the opportunity to glance over in Elliot's direction and let a hiss of breath escape through his teeth as he watched her remove her shirt.**

**"Oh almost forgot," he enthused and pulled a bottle of wine and two glasses from an esky.**

**"You've thought of everything," Elliot beamed as she was handed a glass of cool red wine.**

**"After you," Dr Noll smiled and motioned to the pool. Elliot giggled as she stepped into the surprisingly warm water and sat down. "You approve?"**

**"It's certainly a new experience," Elliot shrugged. "And you do this after every late shift?"**

**"In summer," Dr Noll nodded and sat himself next to her. "I come up here, have a couple of glasses of wine and just watch the stars dance."**

**"That's so romantic," Elliot sighed looking up at the stars.**

**"I don't know," Dr Noll chided. "You're the first girl I've brought up here."**

**"I'm honoured," Elliot smiled and took a mouthful of wine.**

**"So Dr Reid have you ever had sex in a paddling pool, on a rooftop in the middle of the city before?"**

**As the words hit Elliot she spat out her mouthful of wine at looked stunned at Dr Noll who smiled back coolly and swished the wine in his glass.**

"Well?" Carla prompted.

"It was very nice," Elliot mumbled, closed the file and fled into the elevator.

"Just say it," Dr Cox groused as he shot J.D daggers.

"Fine," J.D breathed. "You look like you've peed yourself."

"Better now?"

"Much."

"I don't know what that rat-bastard did but it just won't dry."

"Stand on a chair at the hand dryers in the bathroom and put your crotch under the dryer bit."

"Why would I do that?" Dr Cox frowned. "And why, Naomi, do you know that?"

"Well..."

Before J.D had a chance to reply the elevator doors in front of them opened and Gina, who looked none to happy to see either of them, was surprisingly already inside. J.D and Dr Cox stepped into the elevator just before the doors closed. As they rode, J.D noticed he was stuck in the middle.

"Are you still ignoring me?" Dr Cox asked, looking over at Gina who didn't reply.

"No I'm talking to you," J.D declared trying to lighten the mood.

"I wasn't talking to you Nicole," Dr Cox groused. "You can't ignore me forever you know."

Oh god this is uncomfortable. They were getting along so well yesterday. What could possibly have happened? Maybe nothing happened, maybe they just need something to break the tension.

"So what happened yesterday?" J.D piped up and for the first time Dr Cox and Gina looked over at each other.

**Flashback**

**"You don't have to," Gina pouted grabbing Dr Cox's hand.**

**"I know," Dr Cox agreed getting to his feet. "That's the problem."**

**"Why is it a problem?"**

**"Because," Dr Cox breathed as he pulled his hand away. "Because I like you."**

**"Ok, and this is a problem why?"**

**Dr Cox let out a hiss of breath and got to his feet. "I can't stay ok. In fact if I stay another five minutes I'll never leave and instead we'll end up having sex and I'll lie there watching you sleep until dawn and I can't do that."**

**"Why?" Gina demanded getting to her feet. "Ow."**

**"Stay off that ankle."**

**"You're not making any sense Perry," Gina continued ignoring him. "I don't see what the problem is? You like me, I like you and we clearly have a connection..."**

**"I know, I do."**

**"I thought it was what you wanted."**

**"Oh believe me, I do want it."**

**"So stay," Gina frowned and moved closer to him, ignoring the pain in her ankle.**

**"Gina," Dr Cox said softly. "We can't do this."**

**"You're not a virgin are you?"**

**Dr Cox gave a quiet laugh. "No."**

**"At least give me some semblance of a reason Perry," Gina breathed gently moving her arms around his waist.**

**Dr Cox opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and found himself wrapping her in his arms. Gina rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, for some reason something felt very right about being there. "The only reason I can give you is that I like you too much for this to happen," Dr Cox said gently and kissed the top of her head. He pulled away and headed for the door. "I have to go, I really have to go."**

"Is none of your business Jessica," Dr Cox groused as he tried to ignore the rather hurt look in Gina's eyes.

"Ok," J.D sighed and looked over at Gina. "How's your ankle."

"Fantastic," Gina spat as the doors opened and she limped out.

"What did you do?" J.D gasped, looking at Dr Cox who shook his head and didn't even bother answering. "Must've been bad."

J.D, Dr Cox and Gina all ended up at the Nurses Station where Carla was still doing paperwork. J.D flashed her a smile as he snatched up a file and she smiled and then glanced at Dr Cox and Gina who were doing their best to ignore each other.

"What's going on with those two?" she asked curiously.

"Well from what I can tell she's not talking to him because he's done something really bad," J.D replied amused.

"What did he do?" Carla asked, moving closer to Gina.

"What do you care?" Gina hissed. "I'm not talking to him any more so you should be pleased."

"Hey don't give me attitude," Carla groused as Dr Cox closed his eyes in preparation for an impending headache.

"Shouldn't you lot be working?" Dr Anderson declared as he appeared beside Gina.

"My, someone scrubs up well," Carla chided, noticing the impressive suit Dr Anderson was sporting.

"Thanks," he grinned somewhat nervously. "I thought I should at least look impressive when they destroy my career."

"That won't happen," J.D declared. "You're too good a doctor, man."

"Yeah well, try telling that to the kid's parents huh?" Dr Anderson sighed and then focussed his attention on Gina. "I thought you quit in protest."

"I figured I could do more to help you here than on the dole queue," Gina shrugged.

"Thanks," he smiled coyly at her and then checked his watch. "Crap, I better get going."

"Good luck," Carla enthused.

"I'll need it," Dr Anderson breathed as he headed for the elevator.

"You think he's got a chance?" J.D asked Gina who was looking even more troubled than before.

"Not if Bruce has his way," she said sadly.

"Excuse me," a voice said hesitantly. The entire group turned to see a young couple standing arm in arm. "Um, we're Mr and Mrs Parker," said the man. "We're here to give evidence about a doctor, Dr Anderson, could you tell us where we have to go?"

Dr Cox stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Dr Perry Cox. I was working the night your daughter died."

The woman's face began to twitch and despite the outpouring of emotion she was about to illicit he continued.

"The truth is, sometimes we doctor's make mistakes, we do," he took a sharp intake of breath. "They come in all forms, wrong dosage, misdiagnosis, an error in surgery and yes, sometimes we pass on the wrong information to families. On the night your daughter died Dr Anderson did all he could under the circumstances. I mean, from our point of view we had a busload of kids all needing medical attention and to try and keep track of absolutely everything that's going on around you is impossible."

"That doesn't make up for giving us false hope," the woman hissed.

"You're absolutely right but then it also doesn't make it right that the anger, grief and guilt that you're feeling should destroy the career of an excellent doctor does it?"

Dr Cox, Carla, Gina, J.D and the Parkers were all silent for a moment before Mr Parker spoke. "Dr Cox do you have children?"

Dr Cox swallowed. "I have a son."

"So you understand that losing a child is the hardest thing I parent can ever go through?"

"I do."

"And you can see that this might impair someone's judgement."

"Of course, it's perfectly understandable."

Mr Parker nodded slowly. "We'll talk things over but thankyou for sharing your point of view, it helps."

"Anytime," Dr Cox breathed and watched as the Parker's headed for the elevator.

"You are amazing," J.D beamed.

"Yeah," Dr Cox said quietly and looked over at Gina whose thoughts were written all over her face. "I'm sorry."

She tried to form a few words but nothing came out and instead she hurried off down a corridor.

"Oh look there's Turk," J.D announced feebly and fled down another corridor.

"I knew this would happen," Carla scorned. "I warned you didn't I?"

Dr Cox narrowed his eyes, grunted and stalked off toward the elevator. Carla shook her head and then went back to her paperwork.

"Always ends in tears," she breathed.


	15. We Are Family

We Are Family…

When you work in a hospital you find that you're there so much that colleagues become like family. From brothers and sisters…

"Hey J.D!" Turk grinned passing J.D, a protective arm around Carla.

__

…To scary Uncles…

"Shouldn't you be working Margaret?" Dr Cox groused as he stalked past glaring at J.D.

__

…That one sexy Aunt who always wear low cut tops at Thanksgiving…

"Are they still in there?" Gina asked as she sidled up to J.D looking agitated. J.D looked from her cleavage to her face.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Mrs Parker came out bawling at one stage though."

"Thanks that fills me with confidence," Gina frowned and reluctantly headed off toward her office.

__

…And of course, that one cool cousin that you can't wait to see every summer.

The boardroom door flew open and people started filing out. Dr Anderson emerged as one of the last, he clearly looked unhappy.

"Hey, how's it going?" J.D asked trying to sound casual.

"They're having a short break," Dr Anderson sighed running his fingers through his hair. "Don't know why they don't just hammer the last few nails into my coffin and get it over and done with."

"I'm glad to see you're being optimistic," J.D joked feebly and quickly realised Dr Anderson wasn't laughing. "It'll be ok man."

Dr Anderson gave a short, cold laugh. "You should stop handing out the _Hallmark _sentiments and save some lives mate."

"Yeah," J.D said bowing his head, and then lifted it slowly. "Good luck."

"I can't believe the Todd has a girlfriend," Elliot gasped. "And one that finds him charming!"

"You should have seen it at dinner," Carla enthused. "She thought everything he did was hilarious."

"Does she high five?"

"More than him."

"I cant believe it," Elliot breathed, her eyes wide. "I didn't think it was possible, that a woman would actually want to be with Todd."

"I know, I'm thinking she may have had a repressed childhood," Carla agreed as Dr Noll appeared.

"Nurse Espinosa can you give me a hand with a patient," He asked and then smiled at Elliot. "Dr Reid."

"Of course doctor," Carla smiled and then looked curiously at Elliot who smiled back at Dr Noll.

"Hello doctor."

"You slept with him!" Carla mouthed and Elliot blushed, her eyes going even wider.

"A little," she mouthed back.

"Was he good?"

"Oh my god he was…"

Dr Noll looked up from the papers he was signing and the two women pretended to be occupied in something else. He looked at them both oddly and then slapped his clipboard onto the desk. "Nurse Espinosa."

"Coming," Carla giggled and turned back to Elliot as she followed Dr Noll. "We'll talk later."

"No Mr Ferguson I'm sure your wife would be happier that she went that way," Gina winced as she talked on the phone. "Ok Mr Ferguson, I'll tell Dr Bruce. Once again sorry for you loss."

"Gee, you're really racking up the points for a fast track to hell aren't ya?" Dr Cox declared as he leaned against the doorframe.

"I plan to sit between you and Hilary Duff on the way down."

"I hear Hilary is a lovely person."

"Do you want something Perry?"

Dr Cox walked slowly into the room, grimaced and then forced out what he was thinking. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Jack."

"Your son."

"Yeah," Dr Cox nodded. "He means a lot…hell he means everything to me."

"And your wife?"

"No, ex-wife actually."

"Oh, the divorce must have been hard on Jack."

"Actually he came several years after the divorce."

"Oh."

"Oh come on," Dr Cox groused as he started pacing. "Like you don't have post divorce sex."

"Yes but never a post divorce baby."

Dr Cox bowed his head. "If its any consolation I didn't know until after he was born. I thought he was the product of a one night stand with a pool boy."

"Your ex-wife sounds a warm hearted person."

"But see, that's the thing," Dr Cox gushed with an air that said the words had been screaming to be spoken. He sat roughly in a chair opposite Gina. "I thought Jordan was the best I could do, I care for her, I do but we're so alike that it's oppressive. We're always arguing, in fact if we don't argue our relationship holds nothing for either of us."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're different," Dr Cox breathed. "I don't know why but you bring back the happiness that I've lost after working in a damn hospital for so many years. All the death, disease and sadness starts to kill you one little bit at a time until you're nothing but a cynical, cold shell that doesn't know what joy is any more."

"Doesn't your son bring you joy."

"Its not enough," Dr Cox swallowed. "I thought it was but…" his voice trailed off. "What are you thinking?"

"That I should see how Ross is getting on," Gina breathed as she stepped out from behind her desk and hurried from the room.

Turk sat uncomfortably at the end of couch, flipping through a medical journal while the Todd sat beside him with Sophie on his lap. They had been playing tonsil tennis for the best part of an hour.

"Dude you so have to stop," Turk pleaded trying to shield his eyes with the magazine.

"Turky is right," Sophie gasped pulling away from Todd.

"Don't ever call me Turky!" Turk groused looking mortified.

"Aw kitten I was just admiring your fine boobies," the Todd pouted.

"You can admire them all you like later Pookie," Sophie smiled gave him another quick kiss. She hopped off his lap and Todd slapped her butt. "Pookie!"

"Sorry, but I couldn't help myself," Todd grinned, Sophie giggled and scampered off.

"Pookie?" Turk mused raising an eyebrow as he looked at Todd.

"That's her public nickname for me," Todd smirked. "When we're having sex she calls me God."

"Dude that's blasphemous!"

"I know," Todd enthused. "That's what makes it so dirty."

Turk tried to hide his revolted expression with the magazine as Todd sat grinning inanely before launching into a story about how he refers to Sophie's breasts as Mary Kate and Ashley.

"Hey Gina," J.D smiled as Gina joined him at the best vantagepoint to await the outcome of all that was going on in the boardroom.

"Go stick your head up a wombat," Gina scowled and crossed her arms.

"Ok," J.D nodded. "I'm sensing some tension."

"Did I not tell you to stick your head up a wombat?"

"What's a wombat? Is it like a vampire Womble?"

Gina looked at him exasperated before being distracted by the boardroom door opening. Dr Bruce stalked out, snarled at Gina and marched into a waiting elevator. The rest of the gathering piled out followed lastly by Dr Anderson who looked solemn.

"What happened?" Gina asked, the colour draining from her face.

Dr Anderson's expression changed from solemn to amused. "The Parker's relented after having a long talk about what Perry said to them and despite this one sad event my record is still impeccable and it would be unfair to destroy my career."

"Thank God," Gina gushed and wrapped Dr Anderson up in a tight hug. "I was terrified you were going to get struck off."

"You," Dr Anderson smiled. "Such a worrier, why I was confident the whole time."

"But you told me you were gonna end up on the streets being forced to whore yourself to make ends meet," J.D said blankly.

"Don't you have lives to save?" Dr Anderson countered and flicked JD's ear.

"Ow, not necessary," JD frowned and stalked off down the corridor.

"Have you seen Perry? " Dr Anderson asked pulling away from Gina's embrace. "I want to thank him for his little speech to the Parkers."

"He can have been beaten unconscious by a large man with a gavel for all I care," Gina huffed and looked away.

"Really, I thought you wanted to do the nasty with him," Dr Anderson chided. "Oh but wait he let slip about having offspring and possibly a wife."

"Ex-wife."

"Break up must have been hard on the kid."

"He was post divorce."

"Oh," Dr Anderson said blankly. "We'll I suppose that happens."

"Not to me," Gina spat and marched back in the direction of her office.

"No, my sperm fear going anywhere near you," Dr Anderson muttered and looked around to notice he was all alone and lacking anyone to celebrate his victory with.

Elliot stopped to scribble down some notes on her clipboard but before her pen touched the paper she was dragged into the supplies closet.

"I've got pepper spray!" she yelped only to see Carla standing there looking blank. "Hey Carla!"

"So tell me about Dr Noll," Carla enthused. "He's a very talented doctor oh and that tush…"

"You should try holding it while being pinned to a plastic swimming pool."

"Y'what now?"

"Oh," Elliot felt her cheeks redden. "He invited me back to his place, to relax, turns out his way of relaxing involves a bottle of champagne, a kiddies swimming pool and the roof of his apartment building."

"Oh my God," Carla gasped and then smiled wryly. "So was it good?"

"It was fantastic," Elliot purred as the door opened, and light flooded in.

"Afternoon ladies," Dr Noll perked and sauntered into the supplies closet.

"Dr Noll," Elliot and Carla said together.

"Why is it the thing you need most is always on the bottom shelf," he mused and bent down to retrieve whatever he was after from the bottom shelf.

Elliot and Carla's eyes both found themselves observing his rear. They shot each other an embarrassed look and pretended to focus on their surroundings.

Dr Noll straightened up again and looked at the other two. "Am I in the way?"

"No," Carla gasped.

"How could you ever be in the way?" Elliot added.

Dr Noll looked at Elliot and Carla suspiciously, "Dr Reid can I have a word with you?"

"Sure," Elliot nodded and looked over at Carla, motioning to the door with her head.

"Oh, I uh have to get back to work now," Carla muttered, clearing her throat and then fled the supplies closet.

"Elliot," Dr Noll sighed. "Our relationship outside the hospital isn't affecting your work inside is it?"

"What? No," Elliot blustered. "I mean, you're very cute and I sometimes find myself running into people/walls/patients because I can't manage to look away but generally things are fine."

Dr Noll laughed, caressed Elliot's cheek with his hand and gently brushed his lips against hers. "Good," he breathed before making his way out of the supplies closet.

Elliot waited a few seconds before letting out an excited scream and knocking several packets of bandages off the shelf.

Gina stormed back into her office, slammed her door and then stopped. Dr Cox was still sitting at her desk distracting himself by linking paperclips. He looked up startled.

"What the hell are you still doing here Perry?" Gina hissed looking at him astonished.

"I don't think we've finished talking," Dr Cox replied dropping the paperclips.

"I think I'll decide when we've finished talking if it's all the same to you."

"Why do you get to decide?"

Gina floundered a moment, "Ladies first."

"Oh come on Blondie," Dr Cox gasped. "That's just, that's just so ridiculous I don't even want to repeat it."

"So what do you call not telling me about your wife and child huh?"

Dr Cox opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, "I call it needing to make sure, being certain and not wanting to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" Gina laughed coldly. "Right, so you waited until…until…"

"Say it," Dr Cox said in a soft almost pleading manner.

"Say what?"

"That you _like _me too."

They stood silently watching each other, Gina's chest rising and falling rapidly from the pent up emotion that was wracking her body while the veins in Dr Cox's neck pulsated as he waited for something, anything to happen.

"What's the point," Gina said through an almost strangled sob and hurried from her office.

By the time Dr Cox had followed her to the corridor she was nowhere to be seen. He let out a fierce growl and kicked a nearby bin which spilled over, its contents scattering a small way down the corridor.

"Oi," yelled the Maintenance Man. "You clean that up mate!"

Dr Cox was so infuriated he couldn't even think of a witty comeback, instead he sneered at the Maintenance Man and stormed off.

"…So then I stuck the tube in Mr Wanganeen's…" JD's voice trailed off as he watched Gina race out the front of the hospital. "She looks upset."

"I'll go comfort her," the Todd offered cheerily.

"I think she's likely to remove your fun bits with her teeth dude," Turk shrugged. "And not in a good way."

"Ohh dude," the Todd winced. "That's just evil."

"Where's Gina," Dr Bruce declared appearing with a handful of papers.

"Um, I think she's just popped out for a moment," Carla piped up. "Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Mrs Chatterton died and I need her to talk to the family," Dr Bruce said coldly.

"But she was fine when I saw her this morning," JD said blankly. "In fact, she was getting released tomorrow."

"Oh there was a mix up with her medication," Dr Bruce shrugged. "She reacted badly."

"Oh my God," Carla gasped and then looked innocently at Dr Bruce. "I'll go see if she's in the bathroom."

"Yes, make sure you do or I'll have you all working nightshift as well!"

"Hey Alan," Dr Cox remarked joining the group. "I noticed you from across the room what with your pitchfork and horns an all."

"What the hell did you do man?" Turk spat glaring at Dr Cox.

"Jackass," Carla hissed.

"You're a very bad man," JD added reluctantly. "Sorry wanted to join in."

"Why the sudden influx of hate?" Dr Cox asked slightly taken aback. "Granted, I don't generally mind but seeing as you're all I have in this god forsaken hell hole I'm trying to at least pretend we're friends."

"We're all working nightshift," Turk sighed.

"Since when?" Dr Cox frowned confused.

"Since you acted like a big idiot and upset Gina," Carla scorned. "We're being punished for her not being here to save Bruce's ass."

"Hey, you don't know the whole story…" Dr Cox began but his half-pleading tone was ignored by the group that disbanded leaving him standing alone in admissions.

__

Yeah, we're all just one big family…


	16. Who's Gonna Save Us?

Who's Gonna Save Us?

As J.D stood jotting down Mr Jennings' blood pressure results, the words started to blur and he quickly shook his head before he fell asleep and collapsed over his dozing patient.

It turned out that no one could find Gina before the end of our shifts.

He wearily turned and headed out of the room rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

****

It's all around me and I just don't understand

Seems all out of place now

And I know it's late

But you know what they say now

So we were all stuck working the night shift on top of the shift we'd already done and it was starting to take its toll.

JD passed Turk, who was passed out snoring over a startled looking patient. He sidled up to the nurses' station where Carla was gulping down a large mug of coffee.

"Do you realise every time I've seen you, you've been drinking a mug of coffee that could keep Guam awake for a week?" JD mused, leaning heavily on the desk.

"Why Guam?" Carla asked, raising an eyebrow.

JD flustered and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. He quickly changed the subject. "I'm pissed at Dr Cox for upsetting Gina which upset Dr Bruce which upset me."

"You're not the only one Bambi," Carla nodded and crossed her arms. "I've been drinking so much coffee to keep me awake that I'm going to be peeing until Christmas."

"Yeah, that was probably too much information," JD winced. "What're we going to do?"

Carla shrugged and shook her head, as Elliot appeared, yawning.

"Hey Elliot," JD and Carla said in unison.

"I'm actually so tired that instead of using a thermometer to take Mrs Lane's temperature I stuck my pen in her mouth and I used a peanut M&M instead of a suppository on Mr Stevens."

"Hey they were my M&Ms," JD pouted as Carla gave Elliot a sympathetic look.

"This sucks," Turk announced suddenly, causing the others to turn and look at him. "I can't do my job properly being this exhausted. I almost fell asleep half way through an appendectomy."

"Strewth, don't tell me that you yankee doctors have cured all the patients in this hospital!"

"No sir," JD, Turk and Elliot sighed.

"Oh, I just assumed because you were all idling about that there was no work to be done," Dr Bruce growled. "Clearly it turns out you're all just lazy." He narrowed his eyes. "Start working or I will find you jobs to do. My car's needed washed for days now…" Dr Bruce stalked passed the defeated group and headed for the elevator.

****

We're under attack now

Our work is all cut out

Whatever happened to your rights?

And I know it's late

But you know what they say now

Turk let out a frustrated growl, JD hung his head and Elliot gave a low whine.

"I hope he chokes," Elliot hissed and stormed off down the hall.

"T-Dog," Todd announced as he appeared looking just as tired and listless as the others. "Dr Chang wants us working the ER."

"Man," Turk groaned. "If I see another person with an inanimate object up their ass I'm going to scream."

"You said ass," Todd half-smiled. "Sleepy high five!"

Turk shook his head with a small grin and high fived Todd before they hurried off.

"If my pager doesn't go off until the end of shift I'll cry with happiness," JD declared, but before the words finished leaving his lips the familiar beeping rang out. "I might just weep anyway."

"…So you see Mr Jenko, having deep fried bacon everyday is going to give you chest pains. In fact, if you increase your intake to, oh I don't know, six servings of deep fried bacon a day then you'll get those arteries nice and clogged with all that bad cholesterol. But before you can eat that final rasher and bless the God of Pork you'll be clutching your chest collapsing to the floor and once again wasting my precious time as I berate you."

"What?" JD said abruptly and Dr Cox turned to look at him, cocking his head to the side.

"What's with the mood Nancy?" Dr Cox mused. "Is it that time of the month already?"

"Yeah you're funny," JD sarced. "I'm sorry, I just happen to be a little tired right now because I've been forced to work a double shift because some narcissistic egomaniac made the media lady flee."

"You listen here newbie," Dr Cox spat as he crossed his arms. "You know nothing about what's going on so don't even try to pin this on me."

"Well there doesn't seem to be anyone else around to blame." JD chided, enjoying the lack of legs Dr Cox had to stand on. "And let's face it, it's not the first time you've sent that little blonde minx fleeing, crushed, from the hospital."

Dr Cox's nostrils flared and he turned and stalked out of the room. JD stood surprised and blinking.

"Hey doc, what does a bloke have to do to get fed around here?" Mr Jenko piped up, looking hopeful.

"Gnaw on one of your own fatty limbs," JD scorned and hurried from the room to catch up with Dr Cox. "Say it!"

"What?" Dr Cox huffed without bothering to look at JD.

"Say I won the argument."

"We weren't arguing newbie, just disagreeing."

"Fine, I won the disagreeing."

Dr Cox gave a frustrated growl. "If you don't leave in the next three seconds I'm going to carve you up, deep fry you and feed you to Mr Jenko back there. And I don't care if your deep fried meaty goodness gives him another heart attack because in the end it'll mean I'll be rid of the sight of both of you forever. And that, well that just brings a tear to my eye."

JD rolled his eyes and turned to walk away. He took two steps before stopping and turning back around. "I'll cover your shift."

****

So where's the writing on the wall

Who's gonna save us?

Who's gonna provide us?

Who's gonna divide us?

Who's gonna save us?

It turned out that not everyone was subject to Dr Bruce's wrath and unlike the rest of us Dr Anderson didn't have to suffer a double shift.

"You're leaving?" Carla gasped as Dr Anderson strode past without his scrubs and a backpack over one shoulder.

"And not looking back," Dr Anderson jeered, heading for the door. "Suckers!" he added and flipped them off as he stepped out into the night.

He arrived home and wearily staggered into his apartment. Dr Anderson dropped his backpack on the couch and yawned as he made his way into the bedroom. Without switching on the light he sat heavily on the bed. There was a piercing scream and he screamed, leapt up and switched on the light.

"Crazy woman!" Dr Anderson gasped as Gina pulled the bedclothes tighter around her.

"Do you usually just sit on people?" she frowned.

"No because usually there aren't people in my bed."

"That's obvious."

"Mean," Dr Anderson pouted as he kicked off his shoes. "What're you doing here anyway?"

"I was just passing," Gina replied lamely.

"In my bed?"

"That sounds so much more disgusting than it should."

Dr Anderson sighed and sat next to her on the bed. "You're hiding from Perry aren't you?"

"Maybe a little."

"What happened?" Dr Anderson mused. "He take off his shirt and knock you out with a stray pec."

"Hmm," Gina smirked and then fell serious. "No, he kinda told me he likes me an wanted me to reciprocate."

"And?"

"I couldn't," Gina sighed. "He's got a wife and kid remember."

"Ex-wife."

"Same thing."

Dr Anderson looked Gina over. "You're right."

Gina rolled her eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"Well don't look at me," Dr Anderson countered. "I'm hardly a model of guidance in this situation."

"I know," Gina giggled and rested her head on his shoulder. "You're an awful, awful boyfriend/husband/lover."

"Thanks," Dr Anderson breathed as he tried to focus his attention on his fatigue rather than the enjoyment of having her so close to him. "So do you like Mr Muscles?"

"Yeah," Gina sighed. "Well, in the sense that if I don't sleep with him I'm never, ever going to forgive myself. I mean, to get the opportunity to hold onto those broad shoulders and…" she paused. "Sorry, got carried away."

"Yeah, thanks for the trauma."

They fell silent and stared into the shadowy room for a few moments.

"I should really get some sleep," Dr Anderson declared, pulling away and getting off the bed to take off his pants.

"Of course," Gina agreed and studied the doona cover, poking at the pattern.

"You can stay if you want," Dr Anderson sighed, raising an eyebrow as he pulled off his shirt.

"I was going to," Gina smiled as she resettled under the covers. "I was going to."

We're under powered now

Trial devoured now

Step aside, make way for the new leader

And it's getting late

But you know what they say now

"Where are you going?" Carla asked wearily as she noticed Dr Cox sans scrubs heading toward the door.

"Pedicure," Dr Cox replied blankly.

"At 2am?"

"The salon is run by insomniacs."

"Well as a doctor don't you think it's your job to help the poor people get some sleep?"

"Actually I find they serve the purpose of improving the feet of those of us who don't work your regular nine to five job."

"You're so full of crap."

Dr Cox looked at Carla stoically. "Kylie is covering for me."

"Oh good, I'm glad someone is staying to help the sick people," Carla frowned, crossing her arms.

"It's only prolonging the inevitable." Dr Cox countered, smiled and turned on his heel.

Elliot leaned against an abandoned trolley in the corridor. She yawned deeply and let out a small moan of exhaustion.

"Coffee?"

Elliot looked up and saw Dr Noll standing beside her with a mug of coffee.

"What're you doing here?"

"I heard through the grapevine what was happening and decided to come in and give you guys some support."

"I've never felt so exhausted in my life," Elliot sighed, taking the coffee from Dr Noll. He slid his arm around her waist and she leaned into his side. "This is all Dr Cox's fault."

"Yeah," Dr Noll agreed, nodding, and Elliot looked at him surprised. "Well, Dr Cox and the fact Bruce is the devil incarnate."

"Yeah," Elliot agreed listlessly. "I'm so tired I keep imagining the beds are calling me. Luring me into endless sleep by offers of clean sheets and puffed pillows."

Dr Noll raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you go for a nap in the on call room babe," he enthused and dropped a kiss on her head. "I'll cover you for a bit."

"Really? That's so sweet!" Elliot cooed sleepily. Her pager started to beep and she tried to switch it off. Eventually she just shoved it in Dr Noll's hands and headed for the on call room.

"Ross you awake?" Gina whispered. He let out a grunt and turned over, still very much asleep.

Gina let out a sigh then threw back the covers. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't sleep. She quietly redressed, grabbed her shoes and headed out of Ross's apartment. Gina realised it was actually quite foolish to wander around in the wee hours looking for your car so she stuck her hand in her bag, hoping it looked like she had mace or a brick in there and hurried quickly to her car in the apartment parking area.

As she started out of the car park she turned up the radio to drown out her thoughts.

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

Dr Cox sat slumped in the back of the taxi as it stopped at every red light and seemed to be taking the scenic route to Gina's apartment. The non-English speaking driver hadn't said a word to him but there was the distinct possibility he had a death wish.

"Hey Speed Racer, if you plan on killing us both can we at least die with some musical accompaniment?" Dr Cox declared poking his head through the two front seats. The driver turned up the radio and continued to ignore Dr Cox.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause Ill never be with you.

"Actually I'm happy to die in silence…"

JD yawned as he feigned checking a heart monitor. He was actually just using it as an excuse to lean against something. It began to beep in a 'flatline' kind of a way and JD nearly toppled over as he readjusted it as the stunned heart patient glared at him.

"You're not dead, be happy," JD pouted and stalked out of the room. As he stepped into the corridor his pager went off and he raced off to the room number it was flashing.

"Ok, what have we got here?" JD announced as confidently as he could but stopped as he stepped past the curtain. "Sandy!"

"Wow you really are a doctor," she mused sleepily.

"She was found passed out." Carla said with a concerned look.

"I was at a party, it happens," Sandy sighed and then rolled her eyes as Dr Bruce marched up to the bed.

"Sandra!" he frowned very deeply.

"Dad," Sandy sighed.

"Dad!" JD shrieked mentally. "Oh my god, I was not naked with her in a stranger's pool."

"Something wrong Bambi?" Carla asked noticing the familiar look on JD's face.

"No and I've never seen her naked!"

Everyone in the room paused and looked at JD.

"Uh I have to examine the patient so everyone has to leave," he babbled and ushered everyone out of the room, even a disgruntled Carla. JD turned back to Sandy who by all means wasn't looking very well. "Firstly, your father is going to have me minced and fed to the crocodiles and secondly…" he paused and changed from panic mode to serious doctor mode. "What have you taken?"

Sandy's amused expression dropped and looked away.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful it's true

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

You're beautiful, You're beautiful.

But it's time to face the truth

I will never be with you.

Gina climbed the last of the stairs and headed down the corridor to her apartment. Even from the distance she could see the distinct figure sitting and waiting. She was a couple of door away when Dr Cox noticed and leapt up, shaking himself off and trying to hide the exhaustion that was threatening to engulf him.

"Hey," he half smiled.

"Why are you here?"

"I study doors and yours is a fine example of the cheap materials used by modern day architects," Dr Cox mused and then dropped the amusement in his voice. "I'm here because…because Bruce is pissed that you left and won't let us leave until you return."

"Oh," Gina swallowed. "I'm sorry."

They stood in silence for a few moments.

"Well, I'll give him a call and sort it all out."

"Thatta girl," Dr Cox nodded and they looked at each other again before he turned and started walking away.

Gina sighed, a lump now firmly in her throat, and unlocked her door. She stepped inside, and leaned against the closed door. What idiot abandons his work colleagues to sit on your doorstep and then tells your nothing?

There must be an angel,

With a smile on her face,

When she thought that I

Should be with you

Dr Cox reached the top of the stairs and stopped, he closed his eyes. "What are you doing?" he frowned at his own inability to do anything that might make him look the teeniest bit vulnerable. He looked over his shoulder, then back down the stairs, then back over his shoulder.

"You can do it Coxsy!" he said under his breath and marched back to Gina's door. He knocked only once before she opened it. "Were you waiting?"

"Of course I wasn't," Gina gasped. "You think I'm that desperate I'd wait in case you found the stones to come back and tell me that the obvious attraction between us is killing you. And despite your innate desire to see where things might lead, you're not entirely sure it's the right thing to do because of the very full baggage you have."

"Yeah," Dr Cox said quietly.

"So it's good night then..."

Dr Cox nodded as Gina slowly closed the door. He let out a long, low sigh, hung his head and headed back to the stairs.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.

JD raced back into Sandy's room where another doctor was commencing CPR.

"What happened?" he said breathlessly as he barely took in the situation.

"She crashed Bambi," Carla said quickly.

"What did she take?" asked the other doctor.

"She told me she didn't take anything," JD said blankly.

"And you believed her?" gasped the other doctor.

JD didn't know what to say. He'd wanted to believe her but that was for his own selfish reasons and oh god, how was Dr Bruce going to take this.

Lyrics: "Who's Gonna Save Us" by The Living End & "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt


End file.
